Tuesday, May 30, 2006

The Definitions Of Disturbing

Ben: How much for the noodles?
Kid 1: RM3.00.
Kid 2: Hey, it's RM3.50!
Kid 1: IT'S RM3.00!
Kid 2: RM3.50!
Kid 1: RM3.00 times infinity!
Kid 2: RM3.50 times infinity times 2!
Both: MOM!!

8/9 year olds delivering food at hawker centres are just plain disturbing! And I don't mean:

"This picture of almond chocolate sticks that looks a lot like diseased penises is very disturbing"

I mean:

"There are so many friggin' flies here! SWAT! SWAT! SMACK!" type of disturbing!

Shouldn't they be at home studying or something? And to think that most SPM/STPM top scorers are sons and daughters of hawker stall owners. *sigh*

Monday, May 29, 2006

Shopping In Malaysia

While shopping in Jusco:

Normie: Hey there's a can of ice lemon tea for RM1.40.
Ben: (Grab)
Kim: Wow, there's a can of isomax for RM0.98
Ben: (Grab)
Normie: There's a bottle of kickapoo for RM1.60!
Ben: (Puts the can of ice lemon tea back and grabs the kickapoo bottle)
Kim: A pack of 6 instant noodles for RM3!!
Ben: (Throws everything off the cart and sweeps off the entire instant noodle shelf)

(After checking out of Jusco, at the shopping complex)

Normie: Woah, they're slashing the price of that samsung model by RM100!
Ben: (Drooling)
Normie: This one even better, The RM5 Shop!
Ben: (Crying)
Kim: Look, a sale on bata shoes up till 70%!
Ben: (Both hands on the head) AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

Bulk discounts, sales and mad offers, that's the Malaysian shopping scene for you.

Here's a scary thought, Wall-Mart in Malaysia. Woaaahh...

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Gearboxes And A Mistake

Today in workshop session, we learned about engine transmissions a.k.a gearboxes. Finally I get to know what really goes on inside my car when I shift gearsticks! So were first asked to dismantle the gearbox. I held my breath as the last nut was untightened. The gearbox was then lifted to reveal *gasp*


I tell you, it's a relief from believing that our engine transmissions were actually controlled by tiny, ugly gnomes. You know, those which couldn't make it as a shoe gnome or a smurf? Phew!


Anyway, we were asked to take several datas for each gear such as number of teeths and bushing gaps. I was taking the diameter of the bushing gaps:

Ben: The inside diameter is 20cm.
Sam: (Jots down) Ok.
Ben: The outside diameter is 19.9cm.
Sam: Hey, how can the outside diameter be greater than the inside?
Ben: Er.. er.. let me check again.
Sam: HAHAHA! Your 3.xx CGPA viable or not ah? Hey everybody, guess what Ben did!

(Everyone points and laughs at Ben, raw tomatoes and rotten eggs were thrown at him)

Ben: It was just a mistake!
Sam: A mistake of about 0.2cm! No one makes that kind of mistake!
Ben: Hey, even er.. (desperate to find a simile) even condoms have a 0.01% of leaking out!
Sam: Dude, you're talking to someone who's humping his girlfriend twice a day. MYTH!

(9 months later)

Ben: So how does it feel being a father?
Sam: Shut up.

Moral: Everybody makes mistakes, hump your girlfriend less.

Why Some People Just Aren't Adventurous

Kim: Come la let's try this new place, Lim's.
Ben: *Sigh* Why can't we just go to San's for dinner?
Kim: We've been to San's for dinner every single night! Aren't you bored of that place already? I am. I heard that Lim's has a wider array of dishes.
Ben: -Thinking-
Kim: I mean what's the worse that could happen, right?

*Cuts to dream sequence*

Ben: Hey these dishes actually tastes good!
Kim: Aren't you glad I brought you here? Look at these dishes, I can't believe I missed this place for almost a year!
Ben: Butter chicken! *Munch, munch*
Kim: Fried duck! *Munch, munch*
Ben: Steamed fish! *Munch, munch*
Kim: *Face turns green* Ben.. my tummy isn't feeling so good..
Ben: Yeah I don't feel too well either..

(SPLAT!! Godzilla appears out of nowhere and flattens Lim's Restaurant with its giant foot)

*Back to reality*

Ben: Let's just stick with San's.

I was never really the adventurous type.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Malaysian Dyslexics

Dyslexia refers to any reading difficulty not associated with obvious problems such as bad eyesight. Dyslexias include the inability to name letters, to read words or sentences, or to recognize words directly even though they can be sounded out. It is said to be a neurological disorder with biochemical and genetic markers.

In this modern world where every information and knowledge are distributed and learned from books and the internet, life can be tedious and even hell itself for dyslexics. Parents of dyslexics have tried all kinds of teaching and learning aids but no avail. Parents fear that without proper learning ability, their dyslexic child will not be able to make it far in the education world.

I for one don't see what's the big problem. I mean dyslexics around the world will probably end up here in..

.. UTM. The 'U' stands for University and the last time I checked, that's as far as you can go in the education world. See, no worries.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Contempt, The Cause For Discrimination

"Many tribes call themselves by names which mean in effect 'we-are-men,' implying that all others are not" - Ashley Montagu

It's undeniable that everyone in this world lives to feel contempt or in other words to think he/she will be for himself by making less of the outside world. I mean who doesn't like the feeling of standing high up on that pedastool and looking down on every other sorry asses who couldn't make it. I know I do.

And don't you even dare throw me that look, you hypocrite.

Racism is one of the most apparent result of men's desire to achieve contempt. It's all about simple reasoning. If you don't have the same skin colour as mine, you obviously couldn't walk, talk, or think as well as me and therefore will forever remain inferior through my eyes.

This need to feel contempt has also sparked another type of discrimination, sexism. Who could miss the classic and usually ugly battle of the sexes that dates back to the time of the burning of 'witches' in the olden days.

But the foulest discrimination of them all, one that I couldn't even speak sarcastically about, has to be:


Honestly, any educational institution that still uses right-handed only tables like these should be sued and brought to the highest powers of justice! Left-handers of the world unite!

[Power Rangers Theme Plays, Huge Left Handed Robot (HLHR) Appears, Defeats Evil Huge Right Handed Robot, HLHR Does The Macarena]

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Get A Room Why Don't Ya?!

Today as usual, I went online at my cafeteria hostel. There was also a couple there who were doing more than just their assignments:

Girl: I don't think I can finish this assignment in time..
Guy: Don't worry, that's why I'm here baby.
Girl: Aaawww, how are you so sweet? *Rubs guy's hand*
Guy: My mum downed a barrel of sugar before she conceived me~ *Playfully pinches girl's nose*
Girl: *Giggles* I like it when you do that~
Guy: Come let's do this assignment together ok? Open your firefox~
Girl: Er... How do I do that?
Guy: That is so cute, you don't even know how to open a web browser?
Girl: Don't tease me, I shy oh~ *Playfully hits guy's shoulders*
Guy: Hihihihihihi~
Girl: Hahahahaha~
Guy: What the.. *SMASH!* *FAINTS*
Girl: Oh no please.. *SMASH!* *FAINTS*

Ben: ROOOOOOAAAAAAARRRR!! (Wielding the steel chair covered with blood violently around the room)

I'm single, I'm alone, and I have no prospect of getting into a relationship anytime soon. SO STOP RUBBING IT IN MY FACE! AAAAHHHH! (CONTINUES STRIKING BOTH THE CORPSES VIOLENTLY WITH THEIR LAPTOP!!!)

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Dr. House In The House (Oh.. Now I Get It)

The workshop module I've been waiting for so long, automotive engines! There's always something really manly about dismantling and putting together a car engine don't you think? I do.

And the last time I heard, women dig manly:
Ben: (Fixing engine)
Woman: *Seductively* Hey boy, have you been with a real woman lately?
Ben: *Deep voice* I'm sorry, my real love has always been engines.
Woman: (Pounces on Ben!)

The technician was less than helpful during the module. He mentally destroyed us at every mistake we made! A regular Dr. House sans the MD qualification:

(Victim 1 = Kim)
Kim: It's 86.6mm, sir.
Lecturer: What?!
(Lecturer measures again and gets 81.1mm)
Lecturer: Kim! You stupid idiot! You were wrong!
Kim: But it's a mistake..
Lecturer: What mistake?! You took the wrong measurement and it was off by 5mm! *Slaps Kim to the ground* *Starts kicking and stomping him repeatedly* *Spits*
Kim: Mommy!!!

(Victim 2 = Normie)
Lecturer: Hey you! Are you sure you fixed the cylinder rings correctly?!
Normie: Yeah I'm sure.
Lecturer: Take it out!
Normie: But we just fixed the head and it'll be troublesome..
Lecturer: TAKE IT OUT!
(Normie takes out the cylinder and finds that he fixed the rings wrongly)

Lecturer: Nandeska?! Anatawa bagayaro!!!
Normie: Huh?
Lecturer: So you don't know Japanese and you fixed the piston rings wrongly. Do you know how stupid you are?
Normie: But..
Lecturer: *Grabs Normie's balls and crushes it*

If you're wondering where I am in the picture, you can find me behind the lecturer's ass, kissing it. Self respect.. what?

Monday, May 22, 2006

Horror Movies & My Balls

I've never fancied horror movies. Especially during those scenes where the chick walks alone in a dark quiet ally. It's not the dark ally but the thought of what is going to happen next to that poor little girl that scares me half to death. Is a hand going to pop out from underneath and break her legs? Is it going to swoop down from above and rip her head off?

BAM!! The monster jumps out from the nearby dumpster and stabs her stomach while ripping out her intestines!! *Insert voice of Ben screaming like a little girl*

"Here's both your testicles, hope you enjoyed the movie."

Paying 8 bucks to get your balls handed back to you in a cup. Not exactly my ideal movie going experience.

Naive (Personal)

I remembered back in my younger days, I would find being alone with myself maybe by the beach, on the top floor of a skyscraper, or in the middle of a football field (wide spaces, you get it) would be the most romantic thing to do. I could be doing anything you know, like counting the stars up in the sky, looking across the sea, playing with the sands in my feet, humming to my favourite sappy love songs. Then I would imagine someone out there also doing the same, counting the same stars with me, admiring the same ocean with me, also humming the same tune with me.

Then one day we would meet face to face in the most unlikeliest of places (a foreign city perhaps) on a cold rainy night where one of us would just happen to have an umbrella in their hands at that time. And with just an exchange of smiles, we would walk each other back and chatting as if we’ve known each other before in another lifetime.

Soulmates. I believed that each and every human being on earth has only ONE man/woman made for them. Hence, I believed that one can only fall in love ONCE in their lifetime.While some might take take the pro-active approach, some others would rather wait for love to find its way to them. It’s just nice to be assured that in this world we live in, two souls would eventually meet, fall in love and live happily ever after.

How naive I was back then…

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Better Than Titanic Or Poseidon

Forget about "Poseidon" or "Titanic". The new blockbuster hit of the century, ladies and gentlemen I present to you:

A perfect mould of love, action, suspense and drama!

John: I love you Sally.
Sally: Oh John! (Kiss, kiss, smooch)
Sampan Driver: Oi, jangan bermaksiat! Nanti aku hentam guna pendayung ni baru lu orang tau. Duduk diam diam!

John: Oh no the sampan driver has gone insane. Run Sally! I shall fight him off!
Sally: (Looks around) Where do I run?
John: Just go! (Pushes Sally off the sampan)
John: It's just you and me now crazy sampan driver.
SD: Oi! Buat apa lu tolak bini mu ke dalam air?
John: Don't you dare come any closer! (Kicks the SD into the sea)

(Heavy rain starts pouring down)
Sally: Help! Help!
John: Sally give me your hand!
Sally: Oh no, a tidal wave!
John: Look in the waters, a shark!
Sally: *Gasp* There's a hole in the sampan!

John: Before we die I have to tell you something, I'm not a millionaire.
Sally: I have to tell you something too, I'm not a teacher. Heck I'm not even 20 years old or a virgin.
John: Gasp! Then who ARE you?
Sally: John, I am your mother.
John: But we... eeeewww... Nooooooooo!!!

I would SO watch that movie.

My Other Old Blog

YEEESSS!!! I thought I deleted it for good already but here it is! My first blog! Most of the posts in this one are personal. Haiya, what can you expect from an anti-social 17 year old kid whose life was all about grades and textbooks. Enjoy :)

Friday, May 19, 2006

Why Undegrads Return To Their Hometowns Every Week

Wanyean is pissed at a friend back at his hometown

Wanyean: I wanna get back at him so bad!
Ben: I'll tell you what I'll do if I were you, book a ticket back to your hometown tonight..
Wanyean: Then...?
Ben: Steal his tyres!
Wanyean: First of all, you're crazy, and second, he doesn't even have a car.
Ben: Then steal his shoe!
Wanyean: I'm not buying a RM100 ticket to and fro Penang just to steal my friend's shoes!
Ben: Nono, you steal one shoe.

(Wanyean imagines himself actually heeding Ben's advice)

On the bus to Penang
Wanyean: (Rubbing hands) Heheheheheh!

In front of friend's house
Wanyean: (Steals a shoe) Hahahahahaha!

On the bus back to UTM
Wanyean: (Holding shoe up in the air) Hahahahahaha!

Back at his friend's house
Friend: My other pair of bata! (Waves fist dramatically in the air) Damn you Wanyean!

Wanyean smiled to himself widely and immediately bought a ticket back to Penang.

A Joke I Can't Do

Notice the crude up and down motion and the water..... you know what, I can't do this.

2 Guys, A Horse And A Plan

Workshop life is boring. And it's not like boring:
"I'm bored. Can we change sexual positions tonight, honey?"
It's more like:
"I'm bored! I'MA LEAVE YOU BITCH!"

This daily routine of wake up - workshop - lunch - workshop - assignment - sleep is just drilling a hole right into our heads. Wanyean and I even talked about doing something crazy and outrageous this weekend. You know, just something to 'break out'. So we talked about stealing a horse from the UTM stable and just riding it around campus in the middle of the night.

(After breaking into the UTM stable)
Ben: Ok now teach me how to ride it!
Wanyean: But I don't know how.. I thought YOU knew!
Ben: This is just great. I don't care, we ARE going to do something with this horse tonight!

(An hour later, at the dinner table)
Wanyean: So not what I had in mind.
Ben: *Burp*

We are beyond hopeless.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Screwed Over By A Machine

We had lathing today. I guess the simplest definition of lathing is stripping metal.. Anyway, it is one of the toughest modules so far. The process is pretty simple once you've gotten the basics; adjusting, supporting and the actual lathing. The problem that most of us face?


Shits that happened while Ben was lathing:
- The machine started making weird sounds.
- The coolant tube came loose.
- The screw holding down the cutter couldn't be tightened.
- The measurement dial was screwed up, hence overcutting.
- The motor suddenly stopped working.

Technician repairing the lathing machine (His 5th trip to my booth)

That's what you get for working with a machine that was around even before you were born. You know what the worse part is? My group was the last to finish!

Being last sucks.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Workshop Getting To Me

Well this is my second week of workshop and I am slowly getting worned out by the barrage of projects and assignments they are throwing at us:

Ben: YES! Finally I'm done with my assignment! Now I can...
(WOOOSSSHH! A man with a red cape flies into Ben's room through the window)
Man: Hello Ben! Here's another assignment for you. Kthxbi! (WOOSSHH!)

I just need a break before I go insane and maybe start seeing things.. well.. more things.

Anyway, tomorrow I'm having my 'Drawing' module, at least that's what it says in the timetable. What does drawing have anything to do with mechanical engineering? I fear the worst:

Ben: So did you bring anything for class?
Adrian: What did you expect me to bring? A palette and a brush?
Lecturer: Ok class, each of you get a pencil and a piece of A4 paper out.
Adrian: See, no worries. Should be a simple sketching lesson.
Lecturer: (Takes off raincoat, NUDITY in all its glory) Now draw me!

*A very brief moment of awkward silence in the lecture hall was very quickly followed by shrieks of horror and painful cries of "I am blind! I am blind!"*

Ben: This is ridiculous la!
Adrian: Yeah I know, let's just bail.
Ben: How am I going to bring this assignment back to the hostel?
Adrian: ...

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Mother's Day Tribute

A conversation with my mum over MSN:

Mum: We're going to Seremban tomorrow to send your sister to her matriculation college.
Ben: Aaaww, that means I won't be seeing her when I come back for my semester break.
Mum: Now two of my children already leave this house, left your baby sister here only. So sad...
Ben: Mummy and daddy can go make one more ma.
Mum: What?! You think your mother machine ah?!

(Ben shudders at the thought of returning home to find a sign on the front door that reads, "The Sew's Baby Factory" - results guarenteed in 9 months or we'll double your return!)

Mum: Wei!
Ben: Huh?
Mum: I'm expecting my grandchildren very soon you hear!
Ben: ...

Happy Mother's Day Mummy :)

Bloggers & Road Accidents

In this week alone, I have witnessed a grand total of THREE road accidents. Sorry to say I could only pull the 6600 out of my pocket fast enough to take a snapshot of ONE of the accidents.

Kim la! He couldn't be a Malaysian for one second and drive real slow when passing through a road accident:

Accident 1:
Kim: Hey Ben, look! The Kancil is stuck under that huge-ass lorry!
Ben: Wah, damn cool! Could you drive slowly for a sec, let me grab my phone.
Kim: (Zooms quickly past the accident)
Ben: Hey! Why'd you do that?
Kim: I don't want to hold up the traffic..

Accident 2:
Kim: Look up ahead the junction, a Wira and a Toyota crashed into each other. Ouch, what a wreck!
Ben: Ok there's no traffic behind us. Drive real slow ok? I'm getting my phone out.
Kim: Still haven't take ah? (Zooms past accident)
Ben: ...
Kim: You're too slow!
Ben: AAAAAAHHHHH!!! (Overtakes the steering wheel and slams into a lamp post!)

Accident 3:

Ben: *Clicks*

Like I said, only one out of three. I suck as a photoblogger.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Jumping The Queue





This actually happened to me today. Please don't let them call you a typical Malaysian, respect the queue.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Engineering vs. Medicine

A conversation with an old friend (currently doing medicine) over MSN:

Howard: Eh, you got watch the "House" series ah?
Ben: Got! Damn nice la the show. He is so sarcastic, you also learn to be like him la.
Howard: Long way to go.. What we study actually came up on the series you know. It's cool to know what he's talking about.
Ben: That's like the 100th series they made based on hospital life. When will they start making series on engineering?
Howard: Wah that will be the shortest running series ever.
Ben: ?
Howard: "Looks over"
Howard: "Oh no, that building is about to collapse! I shall use Newton's Second Law of Gravity to save them!"
Howard: "-The End-"
Ben: ...

UTM Does Not Suck!

I'm gonna try to make this as clear as possible ok, so please bear with me. When have I ever said in ANY of my posts that UTM sucks? Whenever I return to my hometown, my friends and I would always compare which local university is better and I fight to the death!

Now about the complaints; I'm a BLOGGER! To me, things like late thrash pickup, vandalism, inefficient office staff, broken alarms and silly 12am curfews are just MATERIAL! It's just something to write about! If you talked about the rat in your home, would you hate your home? If you talked about how your wife snores at night, would you hate your wife?

And if you notice, UTM isn't the only material I have is it? Aneroxics, open wankers, inconsiderate smokers, etc. Practically EVERY SINGLE POST is about something that bothers me (and I'm pretty sure would bother you) and I write about them because YOU guys love to read about it (Numbers don't lie).

So to all the haters out there, go fucking get a sense of humour!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

V for Vandal

Picture taken at faculty's toilet door

Apparently, there is a course here on vandalism that I'm not aware of. Finals for that exam is gonna be hella fun:

Ben: I drew 4 graffitis, wrecked 20 tables and chairs, emptied 3 fire extinguisher cylinders and burned down 2 lecture rooms. I think it's enough for me to get an A-. How about you?
Wanyean: I only managed to burn down one lecture room! I got injured and had to go to the clinic. I'll have to re-take this subject next semester. Damn!

Ben Grinds

Today I attended the second module (there are 30 overall) of my workshop course: GRINDING.

Grinding is basically a finishing process used to improve surface finish, abrade hard materials, and tighten the tolerance on flat and cylindrical surfaces by removing a small amount of material. (Ben is a geek. No la, I just ripped it off here).

But being the mummy's little boy who stilll sings, "lefty loosy, righty tighty" to himself while changing a light bulb, taking a bare metal rod and sharpening its edges according to a certain degree with an old-fashion grinding machine and having sparks fly all over your face like the skies on 31st of August without any protection can be...

...pretty frightening.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Stuck in UTM

Parents are coming in waves with their huge Toyota Unsers to bring their sons and daughters (and their 10 boxes of luggage) home to well, home. I swear la, every of those car has a bumper sticker written on them:

The new UTM bumper sticker

Workshop course has just started for us. Just when every other UTM undergrads are probably already back at their hometowns making their own body patch on their old sofa couch or oversleeping till 2pm without a care in the world, I'm stuck here for the next 1 and a half months.


Well not to bore you with details, this is what I do during workshop:

Basically machines, machines, machines.

Problem is, each period of workshop lasts from 8-12 & 2-6 every single day. That's right, 4 consecutive hours of pay-less hard labour and of course, hunger is inevitable:

Adrian: I am hungry.
Ben: Will you shut up about it. That's the 10th time you've said it and frankly you're starting to annoy me.
Adrian: Sir, can we take a break and go have breakfast?
Lecturer: What did you say?
Adrian: I was wondering if we could all get some food.
Lecturer: (Grabs Ben's face and drills a hole right through his tongue) Excuse me?
Adrian: We're kinda hungry.
Lecturer: (Saws Ben's hands off) What?!
Adrian: (Looks at the grinding machine) I want steak.

Oliver Twist gone horribly wrong.

Then my sense of humour deterioted for a second and thought this was funny:

It really wasn't, I'm sorry.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Elevated Mess

(One night, Sam was hungry)

Sam: I'm so hungry right now (Searches his cupboard for something to eat) All I've got left are 2 tins of Milo powder. You want any?
Chad: Sure but I don't think it's gonna be enough though, I am SO hungry!
Sam: Hm... let's see, we've got 2 tins of Milo, an endless supply of water and two big appetite to feed.. all we need now is a huge container!
Chad: We could use the elevator!
Sam: What?
Chad: Think about it, it's big enough and we could just fill the whole thing up with Milo and water then hit the 'Ground' and '4th' floor repeatedly to shake them well.
Sam: ... Chad... YOU'RE A GENIUS!

Milo powder spilt all over our hostel elevator. Just great, not only do I have to breathe and smell thick cocoa everytime I'm getting out of the hostel, I also have to avoid getting them on my slippers. Where are the UTM hostel cleaners?!

Friday, May 05, 2006

Mechanical Engineering Is Tough

Mechanical engineering has a lot to do with mathematics of forces. Momentum, acceleration, velocity, you name it. I guess it's our job to make sure a certain design (machines or buildings) is in total equilibrium to avoid any collapses.

Which worries me..

I mean right up till now, no one in our course could score 100% in their exams thus proving that we aren't perfect. You know what I mean right, sometimes we tend to overlook a number or maybe not even pressing the calculator buttons hard enough. So are there any room for these mistakes when we finally graduate and get our jobs?

I guess not.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Ben Cannot Bowl

I have bowled for almost 4 years now (on and off) and I still could never learn how to hit the centre pin consistently. This is what actually goes through my mind when I bowl. Seriously.
(Click on the pictures if you have a hard time reading the captions)


And here it is, a live video of me bowling! (Pssst, the guy on the right is Kim!)


Imagine you in a wireless hall, surfing the net minding your own business. Then in walks in a dude who looks like a crack addict. He just switches on the TV and sits himself down (his behind facing me) in one of the sofas.

Fine, I'm still minding my own business.

Then suddenly his shoulder starts to shrug intensely for about 2 minutes (I swear)

Fine, still (trying) to mind my own business.

He finally slept on the sofa, dissappearing out of my sight. Oh ok that's fine but then he suddenly started moaning!!!

Walao.. you try minding your own business here!

Bananas For Karaoke

Karaoke sessions, 6 guys, no girls. You might think we're pathetic but truth be told it's better to go karaoking with your fellow guy buddies.

Girls are microphone hogs and you just don't feel comfortable singing 'linkin park' or 'bon jovi' songs with them around. Imagine lunatics jumping around the couch holding our microphones while pointing and screaming at the TV set, that's us.

Tour Guide: On your left you will see a group of 6 monkeys performing their usual afternoon routine of well... being monkeys.
Dad: *Takes photos*
Mom: Hey Anna, why don't you try to feed the monkeys?
Daughter: Okie (Hands out a banana)
Ben: *Slaps banana away* No more bananas! We want vagina!
*Proceeds to drag the daughter into the room cage with the help of his fe
llow friends monkey buddies*
Parents: Anna, nooooo!!

Ok la maybe I am contradicting myself with the 'no girl' statement but I am after all just a guy.

Fast Food & Tight-Bugdeted Undergrads

Hostel life is starting to become a bore so we have decided to go on an outing today! We would be starting our day at Tebrau City, a newly opened shopping mall at Johor Bahru.

It jammed all the way from Skudai to Johor Bahru so our supposed 30 minute trip was extended to an hour. We took 2 cars since 6 of us were going. One car was faster than the other, guess which one I was in? (We were sms-ing)

Normie: Still stuck at traffic jam ah?
Ben: Yep, u all reach already?
Normie: Not yet reach but we past the traffic jam already now, 100km/h, u leh? 0.001km/h? HAHA!
Ben: ..l..

(10 minutes later, on a whole different topic)

Normie: Passed the traffic jam yet? We reached Tebrau already.
Ben: 10 more minutes gua.
Normie: We wait for you all at KFC la.
Ben: =.=' KFC again?
Normie: Tuesday got 30% discount for KFC tag holders oh.
Ben: (Out loud) Wa! Normie says that we could get 30% discount on KFC meals today!!
Kim (Driving): Really?! Whooppiiee!! *Throws hand up in the air but loses control of the steering wheel*

The car swerves out of the main road and overturns violently into a ditch. Huge explosion!


Ben & Kim crawls out of the car, completely ignoring the fact that they are severely scared and bruised, continues their journey to Tebrau City on foot while chanting, "30%, 30%".

Forget fire drills and bomb hoax, you wanna evacuate a hall filled with undergrads? Just yell, "THERE IS A 40% DISCOUNT ON *insert fast food outlet here* MEALS!"

The Characters post UPDATED!

Monday, May 01, 2006

Sampah UTM

Taken at our hostel block

What? We were curious..

My Super Future (Personal)

While I was sorting out my stuff to take back to KL last night, I stumbled upon a brown diary-like book. I smiled for the first time that day. I thought this book has been lost forever, I'm just glad I found it during the last few days of my stay here in Tawau.

The first page of the book was a huge exclamation, "This Is Ben's Secret Diary, Touch And Die!". I laughed for the first time that day. I guess it's normal for a 12 year old to start wanting privacy already. Anyway, my cute death threat was justified when I saw what crap I filled my ex-diary with. Flipping the pages I came across topics like "Plans To Invade My Sister's Room", "Ben's Room Rules", lots of drawings and the big killer was *gasp* tons and tons of Backstreet Boys song lyrics. Aaaahhh!!!

Though a little embarrassed by my past self, I was actually quite impressed. The language I used had very few grammar mistakes and I was… a pretty funny guy. I mean for example in "Ben's Room Rules" I wrote, 'Rule No. 6: No one in Ben's room is allowed to act or say anything that goes against Ben'.

Looking at my past, it only reminded me about one thing. I've always wanted to be a writer ever since I could learn to put my feelings into words. I wanted to write short stories and even better, novels! I wanted people to be mesmerized by the reading and go "How did he come up with this?!"

Looking at my past, it also reminded me about one more thing. The reason I stopped filling in my little brown book with myself. Education. The promise of a future far far better than writing a measly book, that's what it says. I was intrigued, there IS something much more profitable and more fun than… actually doing what I love. A peak above the summit… woah…

They preach about how it's great to be a doctor, or a lawyer, maybe an engineer! I was convinced so ever since I stepped foot onto high school (Form 1), I started to spend less and less time on my brown book. I wanted to spend more time studying and working hard for my "super future". One day the book just vanished, along with my ambition to be a novelist… I didn't care too much about it though. I just continued to get good results and good grades.

Fast forward into the future, I am 20 years old now. Still waiting for my "super future" to actually become a present. I am still hopeful you know, but everytime I think of what my 12 year old self would say to me... I would show him my excellent grades for the past 8 years and convince him about how mechanical engineering is THE most prestigious engineering course in UTM. He would just look at me and say, "So?"

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