Monday, May 01, 2006

My Super Future (Personal)

While I was sorting out my stuff to take back to KL last night, I stumbled upon a brown diary-like book. I smiled for the first time that day. I thought this book has been lost forever, I'm just glad I found it during the last few days of my stay here in Tawau.

The first page of the book was a huge exclamation, "This Is Ben's Secret Diary, Touch And Die!". I laughed for the first time that day. I guess it's normal for a 12 year old to start wanting privacy already. Anyway, my cute death threat was justified when I saw what crap I filled my ex-diary with. Flipping the pages I came across topics like "Plans To Invade My Sister's Room", "Ben's Room Rules", lots of drawings and the big killer was *gasp* tons and tons of Backstreet Boys song lyrics. Aaaahhh!!!

Though a little embarrassed by my past self, I was actually quite impressed. The language I used had very few grammar mistakes and I was… a pretty funny guy. I mean for example in "Ben's Room Rules" I wrote, 'Rule No. 6: No one in Ben's room is allowed to act or say anything that goes against Ben'.

Looking at my past, it only reminded me about one thing. I've always wanted to be a writer ever since I could learn to put my feelings into words. I wanted to write short stories and even better, novels! I wanted people to be mesmerized by the reading and go "How did he come up with this?!"

Looking at my past, it also reminded me about one more thing. The reason I stopped filling in my little brown book with myself. Education. The promise of a future far far better than writing a measly book, that's what it says. I was intrigued, there IS something much more profitable and more fun than… actually doing what I love. A peak above the summit… woah…

They preach about how it's great to be a doctor, or a lawyer, maybe an engineer! I was convinced so ever since I stepped foot onto high school (Form 1), I started to spend less and less time on my brown book. I wanted to spend more time studying and working hard for my "super future". One day the book just vanished, along with my ambition to be a novelist… I didn't care too much about it though. I just continued to get good results and good grades.

Fast forward into the future, I am 20 years old now. Still waiting for my "super future" to actually become a present. I am still hopeful you know, but everytime I think of what my 12 year old self would say to me... I would show him my excellent grades for the past 8 years and convince him about how mechanical engineering is THE most prestigious engineering course in UTM. He would just look at me and say, "So?"

4 comments:

Ken

You know, you can actually talk to your future self... send an email to the future you and read it back when you've achieved that "super future" of yours! Haha... http://www.futureme.org/
Wow... another person whov I've met who's convinced of a good future being a Mechanical Engineer, rock on!

sewjin

Dear Me,

I have worked my ass off for you, I hope you're making it big there at Shell or maybe Esso... and that you have already lost your virginity.

Oh god please tell me you did..

-=[W]=-

Dear Future Self,

If it's not too much trouble, could you please send me a list of winning lottery numbers for say... the past 20 years or so? That would be completely smashing.

Hope to hear from you soon...

Seriously.

sewjin

Fuck that's a good one!

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