Finally!

There's so much to rejoice over right now. First, all 3 of my tests are done and over! Second, today is the beginning of my mid sem break! Wuhuu!

Too bad it's only for a week.

Distracted

One down and two more to go. Test week sucks. It didn't help that in one of today's many classes, a lecturer flashed this on the projector for all the tips-hungry undergraduates to see:

Everyone in the class had half the mind to just run up to the lecturer, clobber him to death and quickly download the test 1 file into their pen drives. Well, I did. But being the smarter bunch that we are, we approached the matter with a less violent method; trickery:

(After the projector starts working)

Lecturer: Ok, let's begin our lecture. Which chapter did we stop at? *moves cursor around the icons*

Whole class: TEST 1!! TEST 1!!

It didn't work. It was then that we decided to use a far more sophisticated method of persuasion; hypnotism:

(Everytime the lecturer minimizes a window to reveal the desktop)

Whole class: TEST 1!! TEST 1!!

Oh well, we tried. Off to the books I go :(

To The Bus Crash Victims

May you all be in a better place right now. Yes, including the good for nothing bus driver.

It would be harder for them to take revenge if he was with Hades.

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Edit: I just realised that I am blogging about the first bus crash back in August last year, NOT the recent one. Stupid me forgot to see the date of the source. There goes my future as a journalist.
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Guys Can Be Empathetic Too

Generation Y

The Screw Up

Two days ago, I discovered a little about myself:

(Conversation on MSN)

Beve: Where are you going?

Ben: I'm off to an interview. It's for my internship.

Beve: I bet you're gonna blog about it.

Ben: Well I would, if something stupid happens during the interview.

Beve: Then you will.

Ben: ... what makes you think I'll screw it up?

Beve: Because you're you.

What?! I refused to believe that I was built to ruin every opportunity that comes knocking on my door. I mean, is that what people think of me? Though it's no secret that I do not think before I speak and that usually leads to me making a fool of myself... but I would like to believe that I know exactly WHEN I should put a filter between my brain and my mouth:

(In a karaoke session with some of Normie's girlfriend's friends. It was my chance to make a good impression.)

Ben: Ok, the next song is about to begin.

Hot chick: -starts singing on the mic-

Ben: HAHAHA! *points at the tele* JOLIN TSAI SOUNDS LIKE A GUY IN THIS MTV!!

Wanyean: Dude, that isn't Jolin's voice.

Ben: What?

Wanyean: It's hers. *points to the pissed off hot chick*

And that time is coming any day now.

Kids These Days

You think being 22 year old university undergraduates, we would at least take the time to discuss and debate about the daily happenings around the country as often as we could in our conversations:

(On MSN: Sewjin, Normie, CK, Lilian, Ice and 03)

CK: Hold on. I go c c.

Chocobo: What is 'c c'?

Sewjin:

apple: Haha

03: OMG!

Lilian: walao, expert.

CK: what the hell, so rude!

Sewjin: i trying to explain what is c c ma.

CK:

Chocobo: hahaha

Sewjin: !!!

Ice: got so big meh?

Sewjin:

CK:

Sewjin: Woi!

Apple:

Sewjin: Where got like that one?!

Chocobo: Ben.

Sewjin:

Chocobo: nevermind.

03: BEN YOU SO SIEN LAR!

Sewjin: Why??

03: ALWAYS SAME DRAWING!

CK:

Sewjin: CK also la!

Lilian: walao

03: observe and analyse.

CK:

Chocobo: Shit, why uni student so rude wan?

Lilian: Eh hello, they are YOUR friends ah!

CK:

Lilian: you all seldom chat with girls is it?

Sewjin:

Apple: so high.

Chocobo: Pass all these drawings around Kolej Perdana (KP) and see how.

03: Wa, dun dare to imagine what will happen.

Sewjin: KP people all stupid.

Sewjin:

Lilian: wah ben, are you that strong?

Sewjin: no. KP that weak.

Lilian:

Chocobo: haha.

Sewjin: you use knife also cannot cut mine.

Sewjin:

Apple:

Lilian: wahaha, so big the knife.

Lilian: Ben so quiet alrdy.

CK:

Think again.

Censor Censor Censor

Ok I know I'm a little slow on this. Basically, a Malaysian artiste got banned from being on air for 3 months after taking off his shirt in one of his concerts. In my opinion, it was a tad overkill in the part of the local censorship board. It's just skin, not boobs.

If they insist on continuing to censor every little thing that is televised on air:

Pretty soon, the local TV stations will run out of decent shows to air. Oh wait. They have.

Why I Am Still Single, The Sequel

Back when I was a kid, I've always thought that the only way I could a get a girl's attention was to fire her with a barrage of insults:

Some might call it arguing but I'd prefer to call it, "passionate flirting". I'm 22 now and still I find myself doing the same thing:


I need to grow up.

Pee Problem

The journey back from Johor to Kedah was the longest bus ride I have ever taken. Now honestly, I have no qualms about the overall length of the trip (10 hours). Nothing like an mp3 player stuffed full with Norah Jones and Jason Mraz tunes to lighten up even the dullest of trips.

But that's the problem, the trip was anything BUT dull. See, I have bladder control issues. In one day, I could take up to 8 trips to the loo, on a hot weather. Now imagine being trapped in a small enclosed area with the airconditioning pumped up to the max and no working toilet in sight.

They do have stops but it still wasn't frequent enough for me. I ended up clenching my crotch during most parts of the journey. One time, I really couldn't take it anymore:

(Ben runs to the front of the bus)

Ben: Oi Bang. Boleh stop kat next rumah rehat ka?

Driver: Hah? Untuk apa?

Ben: Nak kencing! Tak boleh tahan dah!

Driver: Haiyo! Mesti stop kat Yong Peng la.

Ben: Yong Peng tu next stop?

Driver: Ya ya.

He lied. The next rest stop was Machap and he zoomed right past it. I was forced to hold it in for another 40 minutes. When we finally got to Yong Peng, my bladder was so overloaded I had to make my way to the rest room really slowly to make sure I don't 'spill'. Oh the agony of public transportation.

How To Kill Claire Bennet

In an effort to get rid of DOTA once and for all from our lives, the gang and I have decided to take up a better, much more productive group hobby. You know, something that when you tell other people about it they'd go, "Wow, you're cool!" instead of, "How old are you ah?!"

Now the first thing (actually the only thing) that comes to a guy's mind when they says, "group hobby" is sports. That idea of course went to shit because sports would require hardwork.. and perseverance.. and sweating, 3 things which we aren't too fond of.

"How about forming a band?" one of us exclaimed. The rest wanted to burst out laughing but for some reason, just couldn't. That's because IT WAS SUCH A GOOD IDEA! 2 of us are already pros with the guitars and training a drummer would be a piece of cake. Plus, there's a jamming studio nearby that's charging RM20 an hour.

With all that said and done, we still had one problem. We have no vocalist. Now honestly out of the five of us, NONE could carry a decent tune much less hum one. But still we needed someone to 'make noise' through the mic so we could sync the instruments together.

So guess who's doing the dirty work?

This is not going to be pleasant.


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I'm still at Alor Setar making sure grandma makes it to the afterworld properly. Don't worry, I'm doing fine :D
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Death (Personal)

Mum called while I was putting some finishing touches on a comic I drew today.

I guess the comic can wait.

Grandma passed away.


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Edit 14th Jan: After a 14 hour long bus ride back to Kedah, it's nice to be greeted by all the well wishes in the comment box. I'd like to especially thank Jasmine, you have no idea how much your poem means to me.
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Now Everyone Can Be Doctors

As a banana in a Mandarin speaking environment, I have not being doing well to pick up the language at all. At least Wanyean is making a significant progress after 2 years in Skudai:

(In a bus back to uni. Mandarin in italics.)

Granny: Where are you studying?

Wanyean I'm studying at UTM.

Granny: Oh. What course are you taking?

Wanyean: Doctor.

Granny: WOW! You're so smart! Your parents must be so proud of you!

Wanyean: Yeah they are. -smiles-

(...)

Ben: Dude, why did you lie to the granny?

Wanyean: I didn't know how to say 'engineer' in Mandarin.

Still, he's a lot better than me. The only word I know in Mandarin that's remotely close to an occupation is 'Chicken'. I'm afraid the granny's head would spontaneously combust if I gave her that answer.

R.I.P Hamster

You were there from the very beginning:

My 1st post

You were there when times got hard:

Dhalsim hamster

And most importantly, you were always there whenever I needed a good laugh:

Acrobatic Hamster

I'm gonna miss you.

Rest In Peace Nameless Hamster (Jan 2006- Jan 2008)

Working Out

The First Bed (Personal)

I guided my eyes around the room searching for a happier sight. There isn't. The only thing remotely uplifting about that place is the heavily barred window at the far corner. It is the only way I could get out the house without having to pass by them in the hall again.

Yes, I would need a saw and it might get a little messy but given the circumstances, I was even ready to chip through the bars with a blunt toothpick. That was the sharpest object I could find in the room. The management was strict. Come to think of it, I was surprised that they would let anything with edges into the vicinity. I bet if they could have it their way, they would have all their furnitures in the shape of a sphere. A spherical cupboard, a spherical coffee table, a spherical bed.. though it would be rather hilarious to see someone sleep on one.

As I was lifting the side of my lips to form a smile, a series of dry coughs interrupted me. My attention turned to the elderly lying restlessly on the second bed. When I realised that at anytime her next cough could be accompanied by an ounce of blood, I quickly threw my stare to another old lady on the third bed. I was safe. That is until she started speaking to me in an undecipherable dialect. I didn't know what to do and I started to panic.

Suddenly, my eyes ran out of places to hide. I didn't know where else to look anymore. I excused myself and power walked my way out of the room and past the hoards of aged people, all the while trying to keep my cool. When I finally got to the exit, I forcefully slid the doors open to reveal a much more familiar environment.

Unfortunately, the guilt I felt after was really deep. I didn't spend enough time with her in that room, neither have I spent enough time with her while she still remembered who I was.

Meeting The New Lecturers

And so begins another new semester. New semester, new subjects and of course, new lecturers. A senior once told us that throughout our uni life, we will meet all kinds of lecturers with really weird attitudes. He told us that we have to get used to them and their manners because these are the kinds of people who may be our bosses someday.

These are some of the ones I have encountered over my 3 years in uni:

Though I don't think I'd work for a lazy boss. Good things are always bad for us.


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Thank you Nuffnang for making me the featured blogger of January 2008. Read my crappy self introduction here!
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Celebrating 2008 In Singapore

I remembered celebrating last New Year in a cinema waiting for 'Sinking of Japan' to start. I can't find it in the archives anywhere, guess I was too embarrassed to blog about it then. It was really, really depressing. To make matters worse, the movie really, really sucked too. So this year, I swore I would do something OTHER THAN watching a movie or sleeping early to celebrate the new year. And so I did.

As patriotic Malaysians, a bunch of us decided to head over to Singapore to usher in the new year. Why not Malaysia, you ask? Well it's just that as incredibly jakunted Malaysians, we (the gang and I) tend to think that anything done in Singapore would sound somewhat cooler. E.g: "I celebrated the New Year.. IN SINGAPORE!", "I went shopping.. IN SINGAPORE!", "I peed.. IN SINGAPORE!"

A lot of silly things happened while we were there but this next story takes the cake. The thing about being a foreigner in a country is that we tend to become very obedient to the law. Sometimes, too obedient:

So we waited for 5 minutes for the light to turn green. Even the drivers in the cars on the left were laughing at us. We didn't know how strict things are over there so we didn't want to risk it. Oh how things would be totally different if we were on a KL road:


The trip was overall quite pleasant. The people were great, the crowd was great, the atmosphere was great, everything was just perfect. What a way to begin the new year. Happy 2008 people!


Leave it up to me to make a beautiful fireworks display in Singapore look like a bombing in Iraq

Why I Am Still Single

Some wonder why I'm still unattached until now:

Conversation with Darlene

Most have just given up on me. My new year's resolution: Be nicer to the opposite sex.


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AVP2 sucked, there I said it. The 'afterparty' was better though. We had a small bloggers and webmasters gathering at ochacha. Though I spent most of the time chatting with Esther, Mr. Tall and Eddie's partner.
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Why I'd Rather Not Use Public Toilets

I found this written on one of the toilet doors in a public restroom. Mind you that we have to pay 30 cents per entry:

Our 30 cents worth

On the bright side, at least there's reading material for those who can't crap without one.


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I am back in Skudai :( Did you know that the 1st of January IS NOT a public holiday in Johor? Now you know. Kill me now.
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Ben & Buffet

For super kiasu Malaysian Chinese like me, a buffet isn't so much as a fulfilling dinner but really more of a challenge to eat more than you actually paid for.

And that's quite simple to do, just stay there longer and eat more. And this is made even easier since the management usually never sets a time limit for their buffet meals. But truth of the matter is, they don't really need to:

Our greed sets its own time limit.


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Thank you Nuffnang & Exabytes for the free movie tickets. Alien vs. Predator 2 here I come!
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KY's Xmas Eve Party

Instead of lying on the couch at home and watching Christmas special, I decided that I should be doing something different this Christmas. So I got off my lazy ass, kidnapped Esther and attended KY's Christmas eve party.

Besides the free booze, the other reason that got me excited about attending a party filled with strangers was that most of the attendees were celebrity bloggers. KY, Suanie, Fireangel, Kimberly, Ringo, STiger, the whole gang was all there, in the flesh.

Now on my list of things to do before I die, there is a checkbox for "taking pictures with a celebrity, ANY celebrity". So since I am attending a party where all of the big names in blogging are rounded up in one house, this was my chance to finally get that box checked. Or so I thought:

It's weird that I read their all their posts but couldn't even sum up that one ounce of gut to say, "Hi". Yes, I know. Sewjin has no testicles. There's even a picture to prove it:

Picture stolen from KY's facebook. Bag stolen from Esther.

At the end of the night, I didn't take one single photo (or even talked) with any of the big shots. Story of my life. Anyway, thanks Sueter, Justin & Esther for keeping me company that night. It was fun getting to know you guys.

My History With Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone!

Won't Go JCo Again

A week ago, I queued for 30 minutes. Now this is a big deal to me because the last I queued for anything was for a silly roller coaster ride when I was at Sunway Lagoon. I was 16 and I was too young and too afraid to yell, "This is bullshit!" then storm away dramatically.

Don't get me wrong, I still think that any queue that is longer than one human being is not worth being in at all. It's just.. well it was my mum:

(Nearing the J.Co Donut queue)

Ben: My god, look at that queue! 50 hungry people walking extra slowly for their food. Haha-

Mum: Make that 51.

Ben: What?

Mum: You're standing in line. I wanna see what the hype is all about.

Ben: Then YOU queue up for it!

Mum: The line is too long.

Ben: EXACTLY!

Mum: I don't get your point. Anyway, you're standing in line and I'll go shop at Jusco. Tata.

So that was how I ended up behind a 30 feet long queue. At first, I wanted to just push the guy in front of me, let the entire line drop in a domino effect and have so much chaos ensue that J.Co would have to close down for the day. It just felt so stupid standing in line for deep fried pieces of dough and if that wasn't enough, the line was barely moving and I was the last in line for 5 minutes.

Picture this, in front: an insanely long line of sweaty smelly people, in the back: FREEDOM! I had this window for 5 whole minutes and I didn't do a thing! That was until a couple queued right behind me and it was then for some reason, I started to take the line very seriously. So serious that at one time:

(A lady and child passes by in front of me)

Ben: Excuse me. You're cutting. *serious face*

Lady: Oh no no no! I'm just passing by! Sorry! Sorry!

Ben: Hm. *serious face*

I know, I was a jerk. But that is what standing in line alone in line for half an hour does to a man. One thing though, the long line blew my belief that Malaysians do not like to queue right out the doors. People were actually taking pictures, a lot of them I might add. At least they had something to do. I counted the number of boxes on the linen shirt the guy in front of me was wearing. 32.

An eternity passed and I finally got to the counter. I quickly picked every donut in sight, paid for them and got the hell out of there. A bite and a taste later.. well IF you ask me, the queue wasn't worth it all. I stress the word "if" because I know that there a lot of J.Co fans out there. Good for you, at least the queue was worth your while. It didn't for mine.

IHateMyMoto

I bought a new handphone 2 days ago and it was THE single most torturous purchase I have ever made in my entire life. It didn't help much either that I was going on a trip to visit my relatives in Kedah at about the same time. You'll see what I mean:

Day 1 (Saturday):

11.00am: Bought a MotoRAZR v6. Ben is very happy.

11.05am: Finds out on the way to the car that the phone suddenly cannot be switched on. Goes back to the dealer immediately. Ben is unhappy.

11.10am: Dealer says the software is corrupted. He apologised profusely and replaced the handphone. Ben is happy again.

11.20am: Finds out on the way home that the handphone cannot detect the SIM card. Goes back to the dealer immediately.. again. Ben is pissed.

11.30am: Dealer says that the phone is a tad sensitive to scratches. Tells Ben to change the SIM card. Unfortunately, that has to wait till Monday. Ben is very pissed.

Day 2 (Sunday):

0.00am: Waiting for Monday.

11.59am: One more minute to Monday.

Day 3 (Monday):

0.00am: It's Monday biatch!

9.00am: Goes to Maxis to change SIM cards. The handphone finally detects it. Ben is overjoyed!

9.05am: Leaves for Kedah. Ben is still overjoyed!

9.06am - 1.00pm: The handphone powered itself down 3 times for no reason throughout the journey. Ben is back into pissed mode.

1.01pm: Calls the dealer. Dealer says to do a master reset.

1.02pm: After doing a master reset, the handphone now cannot detect any network whatsoever. Ben wants to piss into the dealer's mouth.

So now I have to wait till my Kedah trip to be over before I can return (once again!) to the dealer. I hope that they let me switch to an entirely different handphone. Screw Motorola. Here's a clearer picture of my encounter.

I mean, why bother getting a product that will give you PMS?

We Stared

Stealing glances at beautiful girls that walk by has become such a crucial part of a guy's life ever since puberty hit. That one short second where we have to scan the chick's hair, face, boobs, body cut and legs then turn to your other guy friends and give a 1-10 rating (and a high five).

It is not an easy feat mind you, to look at a girl from top to bottom in less than a second without having the subject or anyone noticing your horny eyes. There are the ones who have perfected the art:

(In a queue, a hot girl passes by)

Normie: Hot girl.

Ben: I see her! I see her!

Normie: Oh man, isn't she so hot?

Ben: Yeah she is. She has really nice-

Queue attendant: Dia dari Thailand.

(Awkward silence)

Normie: Apa?

Queue attendant: Amoi yang kamu dua tengok tu, dia dari Thailand. *wink*

Then there are those who should just take the safe route and turn to Friendster, with anonymous profile viewing turned on.

Pawned By Penang Hill

We made a day trip to Penang Hill on our fourth day of vacation. The weather up there was rather breezy and it certainly made our 2km hike to the canopy walk very bearable. Note that I said to the canopy walk. All the while, I thought that we WERE walking in a canopy walk. When we finally arrived at the end of our hike, to my horror I found this waiting for us:

the REAL canopy walk

I have serious issues with heights. So much so that jumping sometimes makes me nauseous. But I wasn't gonna let the gang find about this so when I saw this unreliable bridge that's hanging 60 feet above the forest, I quickly shouted:

(After seeing the bridge)

Ben: Have to pay. It's not worth it. Let's go back.

Normie: What?

Ben: Have to pay.

Normie: We walked 2km all the way here and it only costs RM5 per person.

Ben: It's not worth it.

Normie: We're crossing the bridge.

Ben: Let's go back.

So we all paid the fee, we all crossed the bridge and we all lived happily ever after. The end. ... Ok fine here's what really happened. The bridge is connected by 4 gigantic trees and there's a pit stop at every one of them. I crossed the first one and I was pretty confident about going all the way, when:

(The tree shook)

Ben: HOLY HELL! THE TREE IS SHAKING!

Adrian: That is why they have a limit of 5 people per tree.

Ben: BUT THERE'S 6 OF US! I'M NOT GONNA DIE LIKE THIS! I'M TURNING BACK!

So there you go. I turned back at the first stop and as a result of that, I quickly acquired various new nicknames such as bo jiao (no dick) and bo hut (no balls). Even the counter guy was laughing at me when he saw me screaming that I wanna go back. The score: Penang Hill 1, Ben 0.

Here's what goes inside Ben The Acrophobe's head while he's crossing the bridge: whenever the bridge shakes or creaks, images of him falling down head first onto the ground below starts flashing through his mind over and over again. And may I add that the bridge ALWAYS shakes and creaks. This is one fear that is gonna take me more than just therapy to get over. Here's a sketch:

Photos of the trip here.


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Edit 13th Nov: Wanyean's father passed away last night.
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Penang Is Evil

And we have Adrian (the host) to thank for this. Fine, it was partly our fault too because we wanted so badly to savour every great tasting food in Penang that we ended up having 7 meals per day. I wish I was exaggerating.

Besides eating and more eating, we also spent an entire afternoon at Penang Hill. Of course, that shall be a post for another day. Some photos of the trip here.

Ouch, My Ego

The first stop of our 5 day vacation was the quaint town of Kampar (again). CK, the host, warmly welcomed us to his hometown with an SMS:

Apparently, our arrival was literally a pain in the ass. For two days, he showed us around the land of beautiful girls, Ipoh. There really isn't much to do there but eat Bean Sprout Chicken and buy lots of Fragrant Biscuits. It was gonna be a dull trip if not for the newly opened waterpark in the city called The Lost World of Tambun.

The waterpark is built by the same people who brought to us Sunway Lagoon. This one was a lot smaller and the rides weren't as crazy. At least I think they weren't as crazy. I guess at 22, most of us have already outgrown the 'waterpark' stage of our lives. Not only are the water slides not fast enough for us, they weren't even FOR us anymore.

Take the park's most intimidating ride for example:


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It was a mistake anyway to put two of the heaviest guys in the gang in one tube. No points for guessing.


Next stop, Penang!

Grudge Against Yellow Man

Growing up, I have always had this slight fear for children's mascots like Barney, Ronald McDonald and Big Bird of Sesame Street. I guess it's because ever since I was 3, I knew well enough how the big evil corporations are using these silly mascots to market their products to the younger audience.

That and coupled with the fact that I feel incredibly uneasy around men who were either in heavy make-up or oversized suits. Then to my horror, DIGI introduced the "yellow man" as their brand new mascot early this year.


Thick make-up. Check.
Oversized suit. Check.
RUN CHILD!

The first time I saw their commercial where a yellow man was shown following every digi user wherever they went, it sent chills down my spine. The worse part is this 'yellow man' craze caught and more yellow man commercials were being churned out by DIGI every month since.

Luckily, the yellow man craze has died down recently but for some reason, their worst ad ever, the Silent Mode commercial is still playing in local cinema ads. I honestly despise every second of it. I wish their competitor, Maxis, would just come up with something to obliterate the yellow men completely.

It can't be too direct, it's gotta be subtle and clever:

Maybe I am being too direct but that's just how much I hate the yellow man.


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It may take a while for me to respond to your comments (if any). I'm still on a holiday around west Malaysia with the gang :D
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Pack Rat

If there's one thing I dislike about vacations, it's packing for it.

I have too many "what ifs" going on in my head when I open up that wardrobe.


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It may take a while for me to respond to your comments (if any). I'll be away on a holiday around west Malaysia with the gang for a while.
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