Sunday, December 31, 2006

Of 3 Geeks & Celebrating The New Year

(Normie was trying to get our lazy butts out of the house to properly usher in the New Year)

Normie: Guys lets go out and celebrate the New Year!
Ben: And where do you propose we go?
Normie: Danga Bay!
Ben: Are you crazy? There's going to be a huge traffic jam there tonight and I don't want no part of it.
Normie: Ok fine, let's go to Singapore. We could stay there for a night.
CK: I went to Singapore last week with a few of my friends. We had our lunch at McDs and we didn't have enough chairs. The table beside us had an extra chair so I asked the guy if I could have it. He quickly sat on both the chairs and said that he's reserving it for another person.
Normie: Was he?
CK: Nope. That kiasu jackass just wanted the extra chair to put his shopping bags on.
Normie: So.. why are you telling me this?
CK: You still want to go to Singapore after what I've been through?!
Normie: Ok enough with the excuses! Come on guys let's go wild, let's drive up to Thailand or swim over to Indonesia or take a flight to Timbuktu. Anywhere but staying inside the house on New Year's Eve!
Ben: You know what would be REALLY crazy? If we went to any of those places..
Normie: Yeah whatever it is, let's do it!
Ben: .. without our textbooks and lecture notes.
Normie: ...
Ben: That is so gangster! Next thing you know we'll be doing drugs or getting locked up in jail or worse, get an A- for our subjects.
Normie: You guys really need to get your priorities right.

Hope you folks out there have a better night planned ahead than we do. Happy New Year!

Saturday, December 30, 2006

A Really Bad Day

The gang (CK, Normie, Kim) and I went out in this afternoon for a night in the museum. You know, the movie. I thought it was a pretty mediocre comedy movie save for some really funny moments. But besides the okay movie, everything else that happened during our outing today pretty much sucked.

First off was the trip to the cinema itself. It was bumper to bumper traffic all the way from our home to Pelangi Mall. Things weren't that bad at first because we were accompanied by great music that Kim burned on CD. Nickelback, My Chemical Romance, All American Rejects, hell yeah! Unfortunately, the CD only lasted for 20 solid minutes. After that, it repeated and repeated AND repeated for the next hour or so. I almost puked hearing Nickelback for the 4th time. We can't switch to radio because it's broken and we can't switch it off because let's face it, there's nothing worse than a long QUIET journey.

I got so sick hearing the same tunes over and over again, I actually deleted all those songs in my computer when I got home. The fact that Kim still hasn't gotten around to fix his car horn didn't help much to ease the situation either. Since he now doesn't have an outlet for his pent-up stress, he has to resort to shouting and swearing at the steering wheel throughout the journey. Things got really ugly in the car.

Thanks to the traffic jam, we arrived at the mall 20 minutes late. So it meant that we had to catch the next show which was 2 hours later. No matter, lucky for us the mall has a bowling centre which would make killing time so much easier.

That was before we found out that there's a BOWLING COMPETITION going on! The entire bowling centre was CLOSED to outsiders.

At that moment, I wished I was wearing an insanely thin and tight shirt just so I can flex and rip them apart in front of everyone to show how furious I was. If I'm lucky I might even turn green. But alas, luck is the one thing I needed most today. Right after finding out that the bowling centre was closed, we hung around the comic shop for an hour and a half. Now this would be fine, if not for the fact that it was a CHINESE comic shop. So while CK and Normie were having the time of their lives there, Kim and I were left waiting outside watching the shop's tv where they were airing a montage of horrible road accidents. Even bad television is mocking us.

After that we went to McDs to have a quick bite. 'quick' here being the keyword because we had exactly 30 minutes left on the clock before the movie starts. I mean, the day would go straight to hell if ordering and eating our fast food took more than 30 minutes. ... It did.

See, we had Mr. Action Hero as the employee manning the counter. You know how in action movies, when a bomb goes off in the background and the action hero walks real slow away from the explosion? That was exactly how he moved, hence the nickname. Throw in a theme song into the picture, you'll have a full-length motion picture. In the end it took him a whopping 25 minutes to take down 5 person's orders. Normie blew his top and shouted, "Hey, could you hurry it up?!". The guy was really determined not to break character because all he did was ignore what Normie said and continued moving slowly. I wish I had a death note.

So after literally swallowing our meal, we ran upstairs to the cinema and made it in just the nick of time. But it didn't matter because I was just too pissed to enjoy movie.. or the rest of my day.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

A Day Without Internet

As we all have known by now, a certain earthquake has disrupted our internet line causing a massive slowdown whenever we try to access an overseas website. I for one wouldn't be surprised if I read "Bloggers Commit Cult-Like Mass Suicide!" as the headline for tomorrow's local dailies. Everything is so slow now that I'm actually reading the ads on websites. Sad to say, I even clicked on one.

Since the internet has been decelerated to a stand still and there isn't much left to do indoors, Normie and I decided to drag our sorry butts outside for a walk. It's been a while since we've stepped outdoors for anything other than walking into the car so some things seemed unfamiliar:

(Walking outside)
Ben: *Gasp* Is that what I think it is?
Normie: Yes Ben, it is..
Ben: THE SUN!
Both: (Stares at the sun with mouth wide open)

Ok, it wasn't that bad but it sure was close:

(Walking outside)
Ben: Hey look! Isn't that the most beautiful pebble you've ever seen?
Normie: It sure is. And there are a few of them too.
Ben: They would make really nice decorative pieces on my otherwise empty table. I think I'll take some back.

(later, back in the room)

Adrian: Ben.
Ben: What?
Adrian: Why do you have dried dog poo on your table?

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Superstitious Students

As students, all of us believe that hard work and sheer perseverance are the only factors to perform well in an exam. But after last semester's devastating drop in our (Kim and I) CPAs, we both needed to turn to other 'factors':

(At the faculty walkway)
Ben: Why are you using your old bag?
Kim: Oh you noticed.
Ben: You threw this bag away two semesters ago because of the faded colours.
Kim: And two semesters ago, I got a first class CPA.
Ben: So you think using the same bag two sems ago would yield the same academic results two sems ago.
Kim: Exactly. I'm also using the same pencil case, same ruler, same eraser, same...
Ben: Ok enough, I get your point. Don't you think it's all a little silly?
Kim: Silly? A week after we all got our CPA results, you called me up to ask if I had any rabbit's foot lying around in my house.
Ben: I don't see your point.
Kim: First of all rabbits are not lizards, they are not wandering around my house detaching their body parts. And secondly, how is that not sillier than my same-stuff-same-result theory?
Ben: It's very lucky to carry a rabbit's foot.
Kim: It's a rabbit's foot! How is that not gross? You are better off slipping an acorn into your pocket and carrying a four-leaf clover wherever you go!

Ben: .......
Kim: You have an acorn and a four-leaf clover with you now, don't you?

Donald Trump better have a big ass horseshoe hanging on his bedroom wall or I'm gonna be real disappointed. On a different note, I am back in UTM.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Kissing Under A Missile Toe

(When I was 9 years old)
Dad: Here's an interesting fact about Christmas. To get a girl to kiss you during Christmas, all you have to do is stand under a mistletoe.
Ben: A missile toe?
Dad: Yes.
Ben: -imagines-



Ben:
Daddy, is it really that hard to get a girl to kiss you?

Dad: It is son, it is.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Star Spotting In KL

Star spotting is cool. It's just this weird feeling you get seeing someone who is super famous on TV do menial tasks in real life like doing the laundry or walking their dog. Yes I know most of you had seen your fair share of stars in the flesh but that's just because you're living in (or somewhere close to) the city. I practically lived in a village for 19 years so please understand the state of euphoria I was in when

I SAW JJ FROM HITZ.TV WALKING AROUND SUNWAY PYRAMID CARRYING A SHOPPING BAG!

I was having lunch with Darlene in Secret Recipe when I saw him. I wanted to hop out of my chair and run to him with arms flailing about while screaming the lyrics to "Don't Cha". Trust me, it sounded like the most sanest thing to do at the time. I mean he is a Malaysian celebrity, on television AND on radio! The least he deserves is a crazy screaming fan:

Ben: OH MY GOD JJ I LOVE YOU DON'T YOU WISH YOUR BOYFRIEND WAS HOT LIKE ME?!!! (skips and hops then does a cartwheel and finishes off with a somersault. judges give 6.5. ben walks away disappointed.)
JJ: Holy shit.

I wish I could do something like that. All I really did was let him walk away while I was still contemplating of the nicest thing to say to him. Honestly, what can you say to celebrity without making yourself sound like an idiot?:

Ben: Hello.
JJ: Hi.
Ben: ...
JJ: ...
Ben: (Prods JJ's arms)
JJ: ...
Ben: OMFG I'M NEVER GOING TO WASH THIS FINGER EVER AGAIN!!

Apparently nothing. Anyway, here's the song he and Rudy improvised. Click on the song title for lyrics.

JJ & Rudy - Don't Cha

Thursday, December 21, 2006

A Woman Scorned

Darlene just finished her exam and so I invited her out for lunch over MSN. We chatted a little online but I had to get to bed early because I was tired:

(On MSN)
Sewjin: I have to sleep now.
Darlene: Don't leave! Please accompany me!
Sewjin: But I'm really sleepy now. I'll be accompanying you the whole day tomorrow anyways.
Darlene: It's 12.09am. It's already 'tomorrow'.
Sewjin: Shit.
Darlene: Yay! Now juggle chainsaws for me, damn it.
Sewjin: Tomorrow starting from 1pm. I'm going to sleep now.
Darlene: *Sobs* You.. you.. didn't keep your promise..
Sewjin: Goodnight.
Darlene:
Sewjin: Darlene, I'm sleeping now.
Darlene: WAIT.
Sewjin: What?!
Darlene: Remember that day..
Sewjin: Which day?
Darlene: Ahahahaha. Nothing la. Goodnight.
Sewjin: Budak pukisial.
Darlene:
Sewjin: Goodnight.
Darlene: Say sorry!
Sewjin: (the user is offline)
Darlene: Jahanam!
Sewjin: (the user is offline)
Darlene: Jaga kau esok!

The next day, she gave me directions to her home and I went to pick her up for lunch. Unfortunately, I got caught in a traffic-heavy road:

(On the phone)
Ben: Hey, I think I'm going to be a little late.
Darlene: Caught in traffic?
Ben: Yeah, how did you know? Anyway, it's going to take me half an hour to get out of this one. SO SLOW CAN DIE!!!
Darlene: Ok, now we're even.
Ben: ....... what?
Darlene: It was a 6 o' clock turn at the roundabout. Not 3 o' clock.
Ben: &%$@#*!?%

One moment they're using cutesy emoticons. Next, they're getting you stuck in suicide-inducing traffic jams. Women are scary.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

I Am Brand Conscious, Not

(On MSN)
Sewjin: I am BORED! Let's go hang out somewhere tomorrow.
Eve: But I have too many assignments. Maybe some other time.
Sewjin: Fine. Hey, guess what I did today.
Eve: What?
Sewjin: I counted the number of tiles in my living room.
Eve: ...
Sewjin: 53.
Eve: Meet me tomorrow, 1pm at KLCC.

I bet if I told her that I recounted the tiles 3 times, she'd bring along a marching band and a parade. Eve was just that nice. So what we basically did was chit chat non stop for 3 hours while following her friend (Beiyao) whom was scouring the entire shopping mall for a decent birthday present.

Of course, looking for a decent birthday present in KLCC is worse than looking for a needle in a haystack. EVERYTHING there is so damn expensive especially the clothing apparels. We spent most of the time looking for the cheapest bargain around the place. I tried being smart and looked for the best prices based on brand names:

Ben: Things might be cheaper in that shop there.
Eve: KOOKAI?!
Ben: Who in their right mind would wear a shirt named Kookai?
Eve: It's a famous French clothing brand for the ladies!
Ben: Fine. How about that one with the cheapo name?
Eve: BRITISH INDIA?!
Ben: It's named after two countries that were at war with each other for 100 years. Anyway, won't most of their clothing line be half brown and half white?
Eve: (Smacks head)
Ben: Oh ok. I'm sure the shirts are dirt cheap in that shop.
Eve: FCUK?!
Ben: It isn't even the right spelling.

Apparently it's not the smartest thing to do. Besides giant sports brands like Nike and Adidas, I have absolutely no knowledge of any other fashion brands. But other than that, thanks Eve for the great afternoon :D

Sunday, December 17, 2006

A Peek Into My Future

I am so bored I actually flipped through every single channel on ASTRO (including the radio) in under a minute. There's never anything good on satellite television in the afternoon. Flipping through it was like; chinese soap, english soap, indian soap, soap commercial. I wish ASTRO would cancel every channel from 12pm to 6pm and replace them with a Public Service Announcement:

"There's nothing good on. Go outside and enjoy the sun. If it rains, well, there wouldn't be anything on ASTRO anyway so you're pretty much screwed if it does."

Maybe it wouldn't force me to get off my ass and go find a cure for cancer but at least it would force me to get off my ass. I forgot how a floor feels like. Anyway, I was channel surfing when I came across this show on Channel [V] called Popparazzi hosted by the very hot Marion Caunter and the other guy. Yes I know, I could google his name but come on; a guy googling for a guy. That is so gay. I'm sexually insecure. So bite me. Only the girls though. Guys.. don't bite me. I'll just give you a "screw you!". Wait.. I wouldn't want that too. I'll keep quiet now.

No, I will not be kept silent in my own blog! NEVER! But I'm actually silent anyways when I blog. It's not as if I say everything I type out loud. I don't. So back to the topic, Popparazzi. They were talking about this new show filmed in the US called "Parental Control" where the parents get to choose their child's date. It's funny because in asia, this show would be simply known as "Parenting".

More specifically "Parenting for parents with single children in their 30s". You know how it is. The parents would brainwash their children since birth with lectures like, " You should focus on studying! Don't date!" then when their child finally hits the 30s mark it's all, "Why you still don't have wife?!". After that, they'll start finding candidates and seek high and low for matchmakers for you.

I'm only 21 and I can already see signs of my mum turning into one of 'them'.

(Every start of a phone call conversation)
Mum: Still no girlfriend?
Ben: No.
Mum: Well... good. Study is more important.

Can you guys detect it? That hint of disappointment. Every phone call, I would feel as if the words, "study is more important" are being said softer and softer. I'm afraid when I hit 30, she's gonna finally break and declare, "To hell with your studies, I'm getting you a date!":

(While accompanying my mum shopping at Jusco Pulau Redang.. because by 2015, Jusco would have a branch everywhere in Malaysia)
Mum: That chick is hot.
Ben: I don't think I'm comfortable discussing this with you, ma.
Mum: You want me to get her number for you?
Ben: You're kidding.
Mum: Here hold these. I'm going.
Ben: Noooo! Wait, are these packets of condom? But you're in your 50s.
Mum: (Smile)
Ben: They're for me, aren't they? My mother is buying me condoms. Mum please don't do this to me.

(Mum walks over to the girl)

Mum: Hi, my son wants to have a baby with you.
Hot chick: ... Where's your son?
Mum: Oh, he is that young chap right there drenched in kerosene and looking for a match.

Oh.my.god.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Doctor, Doctor, Give Me The News

I was feeling so under the weather yesterday. I had cough, running nose, sore throat and not to mention a fever. Now this is a big deal to me because it's been TWO YEARS since I've last fallen sick. I don't know, it could be the 4 day vacation under the scorching sun or the barbeque dinner yesterday filled with heaty delicacies.

So yeah, it's been a while since I've stepped into a clinic and frankly, I've missed a lot about it; the smell, the patients, the nurses and of course the doctors. Now here's where it gets interesting. After being missing in the scene for so long, an avid medical drama series fan such as myself tends to expect a more interesting trip to the doctors. You know, patients yelling, crash carts being rushed here and there. I even did a little bit of homework:

(In the clinic)
Ben: Doctor, I think I have a mild fever.
Doctor: What else?
Ben: I also have influenza, pharyngitis and a serious case of pertussis.
Doctor: ...
Ben: I've narrowed it down. It's either I have the very curable Diphtheria OR we have the makings of *gasp* Avian Influenza.
Doctor: ...
Ben: What's my prognosis doctor? Don't worry, I can handle the truth!
Doctor: Doctor Lo from the next block sent you, didn't he? That jackass.

Actually all she really did after I told her my conditions (in english) was take my temperature and then charge me 42 bucks. For the meds of course. Fine, maybe I was being a bit overly dramatic but at least let SOMETHING happen:

(In the clinic)
Ben: I have a really bad sore throat.
Doctor: Well then, let me make it better for you. (Slides tongue into Ben's throat) Is that better?
Ben: Yes. (Slowly undresses the doctor with slow love-making music playing in the background)

I gotta slow down on em' dramas.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Romanians Have Bad Taste

Instant messaging can be fun:

(On MSN)
Wanyean: You changed your template!
Sewjin: I changed it a long time ago.
Wanyean: I wanna change mine too but it's too much trouble. Where did you get that template from?
Sewjin: http://blogger-template.blogspot.com/ It's no trouble at all.

(...)

Wanyean: Praesent in augue a ligula convallis congue. Praesent eu augue non arcu faucibus dignissim. Proin ac sem. Sed quis urna et massa fermentum vestibulum.
Sewjin: ...................
Sewjin: Did you just have some sort of verbal diarhea?
Wanyean: You sent me to a Totally Spies website!
Sewjin: I did?
Wanyean: And it's in Romanian!
Sewjin: I'm looking at our chat history. I did send you the right URL.
Wanyean: Romanians watch it too. But that show stinks!
Sewjin: Wait a minute, I think I know what's wrong.
Wanyean: Romanians have bad taste.
Sewjin: I missed an "s" in the URL. It's supposed to be http://blogger-templates.blogspot.com/
Wanyean: Oh.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Meet The Relatives

Meeting up with your relatives can be a rather tedious affair. Take yesterday's family barbeque for example:

Auntie: Ben, when am I going to meet your girlfriend?
Ben: Sorry auntie, I don't have one.
Auntie: (Whispers to husband: I told you he's gay)


(Cantonese in italics)
Uncle 1: Long time no see Ben. So how's life?
Ben: ...
Uncle 1: Sigh, you still can't listen or speak Cantonese.
Ben: ...
Uncle 1: (While nodding and smiling) You're a fat tub of lard, aren't you?
Ben: (Nods and smiles)
Uncle 1: Heheh.


Uncle 2: You're Rickie's kid right?
Ben: Yeah.
Uncle 2: Where are you studying?
Ben: UTM.
Uncle 2: Where?
Ben: It's a public university.
Uncle 2: (Awkward silence) Well I'd like you to meet my son who just came back from London. He's taking up a degree in medicine.
Ben: Hello.
Uncle 2: He is much much smarter than you.

Always the same damn thing. I tell you, I am so close to breaking down emotionally after each family gathering.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Don't Push La!

The sliding door opens and immediately, hoardes of people charge at you like a tsunami wave. Not wanting to give in, you'd also violently charge at them in the opposite direction. Sure some might grunt and mumble but you ignore them, passing them off as weak. Plus.. they started it.

We've all experienced it before, if not a bit too often especially in overcrowded KTM trains. Funny thing is I've never minded this scene at all. KL is a busy city filled with busy people and everyone needs to be somewhere in a hurry. I actually condoned all this pushing and shoving because I thought that's what was needed to get about and succeed in this city, full-blown aggression.

Last week though, something happened that completely changed my mindset. I was caught in another tussle as I made my way out of the train (as usual) when suddenly a man standing beside me blew his top and yelled, "Hey, let the people inside get out of the train first la!" And what happens next shocked even myself: Absolutely nothing happened. In fact, they started pushing even harder.

Have we become so involved in the city's tight rat race that even when a mouse stops and squeaks, the others would just dismiss and trample all over him? I was determined to get some answers. Question: Do we really need to push and shove to get on and off a train?:

Man: Duh. How do you think I got into this train?
Woman: Definitely. How do you think I got this seat?
Teenager: I mean since everyone is doing it right?
Molester: Well it makes things easier for me.
Pickpocket: Me too.

Everyone seems to think that jostling our way in and out a train is necessary. Sigh. Look on the bright side, at least some of them are reaping the rewards.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Cuti Cuti Malaysia (3/3): Genting Highlands

On the way to Genting, we had to endure 60km of poorly maintained road after exiting the highway. It has quite a number of humps and potholes. Now this wouldn't be so much as a problem if it weren't for the fact that we were sitting right at the back of the bus. Every mild swerve and bump is increased tenfolds back there that the ride almost felt like a Genting Theme Park preview. Coupled with my overloaded urinary bladder, it can make for a really uncomfortable ride.

Ben: Must hold it in..
(Passes a road bump)
Ben: Urrrggh~
(Passes a pothole)

Ben:
Aaah~

(Crosses a river)
Ben:
I can't take this anymore..

(Passes a toilet bowl shop)

Ben: Now this is just ridiculous.

That's why I was SO relieved when we finally reached our destination:



Oh yeah and an hour later, we arrived at Genting's First World Hotel. It was 3pm when we checked in. We are leaving first thing in the morning so it meant that we had to rush our activities. So instead of getting a long-deserved rest from the tiring 6 hour journey after checking in, we just threw our bags into the room and spent the entire afternoon at the outdoor theme park.

I've been to Genting 3 times before but I've never once been to the outdoor theme park, until today of course. See, I have an innate fear of heights and I was afraid I would pass out halfway through a ride. But when your friends decide to take you on a guilt trip, you can pretty much forget about any phobias you had and just give in:

Fei Cai: Accompany me la. It's my first time.
CK: You're here already, such a waste if you don't go on at least one ride.
Kim: You chicken shit.
Wanyean: I'll blog about your chicken-ness.

All their efforts did not go to waste because I had an AWESOME time at the theme park! I sat on the Spinner, Cyclone, Super Toboggan, Bumper Boats, Flying Coaster and Corkscrew (4 times!!). Yeah I know, "Where's Space Shot?". Seeing those people being lifted 185 feet in the air and then dropped right back down to earth screaming and shouting for their lives, so scary! I'm just not up to it.. yet.

After 6 hours of frolicking around the theme park, we had dinner and then went back to the room to shower. After that, everyone put on our best attire and hairstyle then headed straight to the casino. Our first time in a casino! Sadly enough I lost RM40 on that night. Whatever happened to beginner's luck?! The loss wouldn't have hurt so badly if not for the fact that EVERYONE ELSE WON! Some even gained up to RM70. Aaargh! THEY TOOK MY MONEY!

I wanted to release stress and the rest wanted to spend their "hard earned" cash so we did the only thing there is left to do at 11pm in Genting Highlands. We went clubbing! Besides the story of Wanyean almost picking up two hot chicks in one night and I got approached by a gay man, there really isn't much to talk about. Really, there isn't. MOVING ON.

We danced and danced till the night ended for us at 3am. Everyone went back to the room tired but definitely smiling right till we hit the hay. Some (stares at Fei Cai) were even snapping away to the tunes of Sexy Back halfway through their slumber. He was friggin' sleep-snapping! Though it was annoying, you gotta admit it was kinda funny.

And that folks, concludes the Cuti-Cuti Malaysia series of my semester 3 holiday. This has to be the most memorable trip I've ever been to in a very long time and I'm definitely looking forward to our Redang trip next semester :D

Back in KL, I couldn't stop grinning as I was recalling everything that happened during the vacation. Then on my way up to my floor, there were two kids in the lift with me. After they've reached their floor, they ran out of the lift while saying to me, "Thank you uncle!".

(...)

Screw the trip, I look OLD! Aaaaaahhh!

Pictures of part 3 here.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Cuti Cuti Malaysia (2/3): Penang

After the tiring ordeal, Wanyean took us to have Tua Pui Mee (Fat Noodles) and Ais Batu Campur for dinner. OMFG they were good! That's when I realised that I'm actually in Penang, Malaysia's very own food haven. And that's what we did most of time while we were there; eat, eat, eat. Among others, I've had Char Kuey Teow, Loh-Bak, Laksa, Rojak & Loh Mee. No, I didn't get any pictures because I was afraid:

(In a hawker stall)
Ben: This food looks good. (Pulls out a camera)
Hawker: Oi, what you doing?!
Ben: I'm just taking a picture of your delicious food.
Hawker: You steal my recipe!
Ben: But..
Hawker: No, cannot! (Grabs the plate and throws it to the ground)

Fine, I'm just embarrassed to pop out my camera and start flashing away for fear of annoying the other customers around us. Besides the food, the shopping in Penang was also great. I only visited Queensbay Mall and Gurney Plaza but got myself three really nice shirts. Yeah, I know I could get them in KL too but there's something about shopping with your friends that makes selecting clothings so much easier:

(In a shop)
Ben: Oh god, this piece of cloth is ugly.
Wanyean: RM20 says you'll buy it and put it on right here.
Ben: You're on!

(Pays for it and puts it on)

Ben: There we go. Now fork out em' 20 bucks!
Wanyean: You do realise you're wearing a pair of women's bra right?
Ben: Don't you dare make any excuses. Pay up!

Ah well, you get the picture. Penang is also known for some great tourist spots but being the non-adventurous lot we were, we only visited one; the Kek Lok Si temple. It was basically a temple placed right on top of a deforested hill. The irony. Plus the place was scorching HOT! The main attraction there was the huge Kuan Yin statue placed at the peak of the hill. But some of us were more interested in the "Fortune Telling" portion of the temple.

You are supposed to shake a container filled with hundreds of sticks till one of them falls off. And then you take the fallen stick to the monk and he'll give you a paper where written on it is a long chinese poem. From the poem, you could tell anything about your future from education to love. CK and Fei Cai tried it out but the others like me couldn't bare the thought of knowing exactly how our future would turn out:

Monk: Something bad is gonna happen to you tomorrow.
Ben: What will happen?
Monk: You'll slip off a banana peel and fall off a flight of stairs.
Ben: What?!
Monk: You'll puncture your lungs and die.
Ben: Ok that's enough.
Monk: Your body will only be discovered a month later.
Ben: I said enough!
Monk: I see you haven't had sex yet.
Ben: So?
Monk: You're gonna die a lonely virgin.

It would've really spoiled the mood for the rest of my day.. and more importantly, the rest of my holiday. I spent 2 nights in Penang which was more than enough to get my fill of the island. Next stop, Genting Highlands!

Pictures of part 2 here.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Cuti Cuti Malaysia (1/3): Kampar & Almost Penang

(In the car)
Kim: We are lost!
Normie: No we're not. Take a left here.
Kim: Where is this?
Normie: Oh yeah, we're definitely lost.
Kim: &*%$#@

We spent an hour and a half trying to find our way to the PLUS toll from Serdang. It was mainly because we were all so engulfed in our silly conversations that we kept overshooting and missing turns. It was after Normie got tired and fell asleep that we were able to find our way out. We never finish our group assignments on time either. By the time we reached Kampar, we were all tired, hungry and sleepy. We immediately crashed right after having our late supper.

We woke up at 9am the next morning to get ready for our journey further up north to Penang. The day started off like any other day, with a pun:

(In the car while heating up the engine)
Kim: There's a lizard crap on the windscreen.
Ben: Get it off. Use the windscreen wiper.

(Wipe)

Kim: Oh shit, now it's everywhere!

And we're off. As we were exiting CK's house, we saw an accident by the roadside. The body of the deceased motorcyclist was already covered with a few layers of newspaper and we could see parts of his brains scattered about. It was one of the most gruesome sight I've ever encountered. It didn't help that we were on our way to have Char Kuey Teow.

On a brighter note, Kampar is known for this thing called Chicken Biscuits where the locals here have so aptly nicknamed it CB. Evidently, they are pretty proud of their biscuit what with the billboards, posters promotion and all. But can you imagine going through a small quaint, conservative town where you have:

"Have you tasted the goodness of CB?"
"Enjoy the goodness of CB now!"

literally plastered all over the place? We asked CK to make a short stop at a local CB confectionary outlet to get a taste of this biscuit thing. It was awesome! I immediately bought 9 packs of them and so did everyone else. I LOVE CB! Oh yeah, and I love chicken biscuits too.



After that, we continued on with our trip to Penang. Everything was smooth sailing when suddenly, Kim's car overheated and we were forced to pull over in the middle of the highway. No big deal. We waited a few minutes for the engine to cool off, refilled the radiator water and took off. Arriving at the Penang bridge, there was a massive traffic jam. Scores of cars had to pull over because of overheating due to the hot weather and bumper to bumper traffic.

Our car also overheated but we forced it up till the bridge. That's when it hit the red bar and we HAD to pull over IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BRIDGE. This was worse than the first pull over because since the traffic was so slow, every single passerby actually had time to point and laugh at us. Kim naturally got impatient, got down the car and loosened the radiator cover. So I'm sure you all could guess what happened next:



Picture a huge fountain of radiator coolant in the middle of the Penang bridge. At this point, the passersby started looking around for a film crew because it all looked like one really screwed up sitcom. I was so embarrassed I wanted to jump off the bridge. But then I backed away thinking, "So what? Nobody knows me in Penang anyways." So I took a picture and started hoping around the bridge while uuuh-ing and aaah-ing at everything like a jakun tourist.

(A minute later, my cell rang)
Ben: Hello?
Dad: What are you doing stuck in the middle of the Penang bridge?
Ben: How did you know?!
Dad: 5 of your sister's hometown friends saw you and immediately called her. What are you doing dancing in the middle of the bridge anyways?

Aaaw come on! Is Malaysia that small?! So after picking up every piece of dignity I have left, we refilled the radiator with water again but this time it wasn't enough even after we gave up our drinking water. So as expected, the car overheated again right after we crossed the bridge but this time we pulled over to get the radiator fully refilled.

Wanyean took the car to the nearest mechanic and found out that the gasket burnt. Apparently it was because we didn't wait long enough before refilling the radiator water. So the car had to be kept in the workshop for 2-3 days meaning that the Ipoh trip had to be canceled. Remember when I said that our trip would surely have some sort of glitch? Right here folks.

Other photos of part 1 right here.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

A Really Bad Drawing

(While ogling over some pictures of hot chicks over MSN with Nick)
Ben: She's pretty right?
Nick:
Yeah. Hey, she's got that thing on her face.

Ben:
What thing?

Nick:
A depression.

Ben: Yeah she does look a little sad.
Nick: No no! Depression as in there's a groove on her cheek.
Ben:
I'm lost.

Nick:
Can't believe I need to draw this.

Ben:
[Waiting]

Nick:



Ben:
What the..

Nick:
Concentrate please.

Ben:
You don't have to draw the hands you know.

Nick:
That's the hair.

Ben:
...

Nick:
To show that it's a girl.

Ben:
...

Nick: Oh I remember! It's a DIMPLE!
Ben:
[No response]

Nick:
Ben? Hellooooo!

Ben:
Hop over my blog, I wanna show you something.
Nick: Fuck you!

Nick is a med student friend studying in India. He is very artistic.. and I am being very sarcastic.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Please Help Me Pack

I'm going on a mini vacation tomorrow with the UTM gang. The initial plan was to spend one night in each of these locations; Penang, Kampar, and finally Genting. 'Initial' because knowing them, we'd probably make some sort of detour or spend one extra night some where. I'm actually counting on it though, I am in need of a looooong vacation.

I love vacations (who doesn't) but one thing that still scares me about it is the packing. Having a reputation of being a worry wart, I tend to overpack in a lot of my trips away from home. I always have these doubts that something might go wrong in a trip and I'd compensate it by bringing extra clothing.

(While packing)
Ben: So that's 3 sets of shirts, pants and underwears. Should be enough for 3 days.
Doubt: What if they prolong the vacation?
Ben: Fine I'll add an extra set.
Doubt: What if it's too hot and you sweat too much?
Ben: Then I'll add one more set.
Doubt: What if it rains and your whole outfit is drenched?
Ben: Ok I'll add another set.
Doubt: What if it's such a fine weather that they want to go out for sports?
Ben: Then I'll add one more set of sporting attire.
Doubt: What if you were caught shoplifting alone and couldn't contact us to bail you out because your cellphone is out of battery and you had to spend a night in jail where your inmates are easily provoked by dark colours?
Ben: That would SO not happen!
Doubt: You'd never know.
Ben: ... Fine, one more set of brightly coloured clothes.

You know what? I wish I was exaggerating (stares at the 8 sets of clothing on my bed).

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