A Peek Into My Future

I am so bored I actually flipped through every single channel on ASTRO (including the radio) in under a minute. There's never anything good on satellite television in the afternoon. Flipping through it was like; chinese soap, english soap, indian soap, soap commercial. I wish ASTRO would cancel every channel from 12pm to 6pm and replace them with a Public Service Announcement:

"There's nothing good on. Go outside and enjoy the sun. If it rains, well, there wouldn't be anything on ASTRO anyway so you're pretty much screwed if it does."

Maybe it wouldn't force me to get off my ass and go find a cure for cancer but at least it would force me to get off my ass. I forgot how a floor feels like. Anyway, I was channel surfing when I came across this show on Channel [V] called Popparazzi hosted by the very hot Marion Caunter and the other guy. Yes I know, I could google his name but come on; a guy googling for a guy. That is so gay. I'm sexually insecure. So bite me. Only the girls though. Guys.. don't bite me. I'll just give you a "screw you!". Wait.. I wouldn't want that too. I'll keep quiet now.

No, I will not be kept silent in my own blog! NEVER! But I'm actually silent anyways when I blog. It's not as if I say everything I type out loud. I don't. So back to the topic, Popparazzi. They were talking about this new show filmed in the US called "Parental Control" where the parents get to choose their child's date. It's funny because in asia, this show would be simply known as "Parenting".

More specifically "Parenting for parents with single children in their 30s". You know how it is. The parents would brainwash their children since birth with lectures like, " You should focus on studying! Don't date!" then when their child finally hits the 30s mark it's all, "Why you still don't have wife?!". After that, they'll start finding candidates and seek high and low for matchmakers for you.

I'm only 21 and I can already see signs of my mum turning into one of 'them'.

(Every start of a phone call conversation)
Mum: Still no girlfriend?
Ben: No.
Mum: Well... good. Study is more important.

Can you guys detect it? That hint of disappointment. Every phone call, I would feel as if the words, "study is more important" are being said softer and softer. I'm afraid when I hit 30, she's gonna finally break and declare, "To hell with your studies, I'm getting you a date!":

(While accompanying my mum shopping at Jusco Pulau Redang.. because by 2015, Jusco would have a branch everywhere in Malaysia)
Mum: That chick is hot.
Ben: I don't think I'm comfortable discussing this with you, ma.
Mum: You want me to get her number for you?
Ben: You're kidding.
Mum: Here hold these. I'm going.
Ben: Noooo! Wait, are these packets of condom? But you're in your 50s.
Mum: (Smile)
Ben: They're for me, aren't they? My mother is buying me condoms. Mum please don't do this to me.

(Mum walks over to the girl)

Mum: Hi, my son wants to have a baby with you.
Hot chick: ... Where's your son?
Mum: Oh, he is that young chap right there drenched in kerosene and looking for a match.

Oh.my.god.