Distracted

One down and two more to go. Test week sucks. It didn't help that in one of today's many classes, a lecturer flashed this on the projector for all the tips-hungry undergraduates to see:

Everyone in the class had half the mind to just run up to the lecturer, clobber him to death and quickly download the test 1 file into their pen drives. Well, I did. But being the smarter bunch that we are, we approached the matter with a less violent method; trickery:

(After the projector starts working)

Lecturer: Ok, let's begin our lecture. Which chapter did we stop at? *moves cursor around the icons*

Whole class: TEST 1!! TEST 1!!

It didn't work. It was then that we decided to use a far more sophisticated method of persuasion; hypnotism:

(Everytime the lecturer minimizes a window to reveal the desktop)

Whole class: TEST 1!! TEST 1!!

Oh well, we tried. Off to the books I go :(

To The Bus Crash Victims

May you all be in a better place right now. Yes, including the good for nothing bus driver.

It would be harder for them to take revenge if he was with Hades.

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Edit: I just realised that I am blogging about the first bus crash back in August last year, NOT the recent one. Stupid me forgot to see the date of the source. There goes my future as a journalist.
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Guys Can Be Empathetic Too

Generation Y

The Screw Up

Two days ago, I discovered a little about myself:

(Conversation on MSN)

Beve: Where are you going?

Ben: I'm off to an interview. It's for my internship.

Beve: I bet you're gonna blog about it.

Ben: Well I would, if something stupid happens during the interview.

Beve: Then you will.

Ben: ... what makes you think I'll screw it up?

Beve: Because you're you.

What?! I refused to believe that I was built to ruin every opportunity that comes knocking on my door. I mean, is that what people think of me? Though it's no secret that I do not think before I speak and that usually leads to me making a fool of myself... but I would like to believe that I know exactly WHEN I should put a filter between my brain and my mouth:

(In a karaoke session with some of Normie's girlfriend's friends. It was my chance to make a good impression.)

Ben: Ok, the next song is about to begin.

Hot chick: -starts singing on the mic-

Ben: HAHAHA! *points at the tele* JOLIN TSAI SOUNDS LIKE A GUY IN THIS MTV!!

Wanyean: Dude, that isn't Jolin's voice.

Ben: What?

Wanyean: It's hers. *points to the pissed off hot chick*

And that time is coming any day now.

Kids These Days

You think being 22 year old university undergraduates, we would at least take the time to discuss and debate about the daily happenings around the country as often as we could in our conversations:

(On MSN: Sewjin, Normie, CK, Lilian, Ice and 03)

CK: Hold on. I go c c.

Chocobo: What is 'c c'?

Sewjin:

apple: Haha

03: OMG!

Lilian: walao, expert.

CK: what the hell, so rude!

Sewjin: i trying to explain what is c c ma.

CK:

Chocobo: hahaha

Sewjin: !!!

Ice: got so big meh?

Sewjin:

CK:

Sewjin: Woi!

Apple:

Sewjin: Where got like that one?!

Chocobo: Ben.

Sewjin:

Chocobo: nevermind.

03: BEN YOU SO SIEN LAR!

Sewjin: Why??

03: ALWAYS SAME DRAWING!

CK:

Sewjin: CK also la!

Lilian: walao

03: observe and analyse.

CK:

Chocobo: Shit, why uni student so rude wan?

Lilian: Eh hello, they are YOUR friends ah!

CK:

Lilian: you all seldom chat with girls is it?

Sewjin:

Apple: so high.

Chocobo: Pass all these drawings around Kolej Perdana (KP) and see how.

03: Wa, dun dare to imagine what will happen.

Sewjin: KP people all stupid.

Sewjin:

Lilian: wah ben, are you that strong?

Sewjin: no. KP that weak.

Lilian:

Chocobo: haha.

Sewjin: you use knife also cannot cut mine.

Sewjin:

Apple:

Lilian: wahaha, so big the knife.

Lilian: Ben so quiet alrdy.

CK:

Think again.

Censor Censor Censor

Ok I know I'm a little slow on this. Basically, a Malaysian artiste got banned from being on air for 3 months after taking off his shirt in one of his concerts. In my opinion, it was a tad overkill in the part of the local censorship board. It's just skin, not boobs.

If they insist on continuing to censor every little thing that is televised on air:

Pretty soon, the local TV stations will run out of decent shows to air. Oh wait. They have.

Why I Am Still Single, The Sequel

Back when I was a kid, I've always thought that the only way I could a get a girl's attention was to fire her with a barrage of insults:

Some might call it arguing but I'd prefer to call it, "passionate flirting". I'm 22 now and still I find myself doing the same thing:


I need to grow up.

Pee Problem

The journey back from Johor to Kedah was the longest bus ride I have ever taken. Now honestly, I have no qualms about the overall length of the trip (10 hours). Nothing like an mp3 player stuffed full with Norah Jones and Jason Mraz tunes to lighten up even the dullest of trips.

But that's the problem, the trip was anything BUT dull. See, I have bladder control issues. In one day, I could take up to 8 trips to the loo, on a hot weather. Now imagine being trapped in a small enclosed area with the airconditioning pumped up to the max and no working toilet in sight.

They do have stops but it still wasn't frequent enough for me. I ended up clenching my crotch during most parts of the journey. One time, I really couldn't take it anymore:

(Ben runs to the front of the bus)

Ben: Oi Bang. Boleh stop kat next rumah rehat ka?

Driver: Hah? Untuk apa?

Ben: Nak kencing! Tak boleh tahan dah!

Driver: Haiyo! Mesti stop kat Yong Peng la.

Ben: Yong Peng tu next stop?

Driver: Ya ya.

He lied. The next rest stop was Machap and he zoomed right past it. I was forced to hold it in for another 40 minutes. When we finally got to Yong Peng, my bladder was so overloaded I had to make my way to the rest room really slowly to make sure I don't 'spill'. Oh the agony of public transportation.

How To Kill Claire Bennet

In an effort to get rid of DOTA once and for all from our lives, the gang and I have decided to take up a better, much more productive group hobby. You know, something that when you tell other people about it they'd go, "Wow, you're cool!" instead of, "How old are you ah?!"

Now the first thing (actually the only thing) that comes to a guy's mind when they says, "group hobby" is sports. That idea of course went to shit because sports would require hardwork.. and perseverance.. and sweating, 3 things which we aren't too fond of.

"How about forming a band?" one of us exclaimed. The rest wanted to burst out laughing but for some reason, just couldn't. That's because IT WAS SUCH A GOOD IDEA! 2 of us are already pros with the guitars and training a drummer would be a piece of cake. Plus, there's a jamming studio nearby that's charging RM20 an hour.

With all that said and done, we still had one problem. We have no vocalist. Now honestly out of the five of us, NONE could carry a decent tune much less hum one. But still we needed someone to 'make noise' through the mic so we could sync the instruments together.

So guess who's doing the dirty work?

This is not going to be pleasant.


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I'm still at Alor Setar making sure grandma makes it to the afterworld properly. Don't worry, I'm doing fine :D
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Death (Personal)

Mum called while I was putting some finishing touches on a comic I drew today.

I guess the comic can wait.

Grandma passed away.


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Edit 14th Jan: After a 14 hour long bus ride back to Kedah, it's nice to be greeted by all the well wishes in the comment box. I'd like to especially thank Jasmine, you have no idea how much your poem means to me.
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Now Everyone Can Be Doctors

As a banana in a Mandarin speaking environment, I have not being doing well to pick up the language at all. At least Wanyean is making a significant progress after 2 years in Skudai:

(In a bus back to uni. Mandarin in italics.)

Granny: Where are you studying?

Wanyean I'm studying at UTM.

Granny: Oh. What course are you taking?

Wanyean: Doctor.

Granny: WOW! You're so smart! Your parents must be so proud of you!

Wanyean: Yeah they are. -smiles-

(...)

Ben: Dude, why did you lie to the granny?

Wanyean: I didn't know how to say 'engineer' in Mandarin.

Still, he's a lot better than me. The only word I know in Mandarin that's remotely close to an occupation is 'Chicken'. I'm afraid the granny's head would spontaneously combust if I gave her that answer.

R.I.P Hamster

You were there from the very beginning:

My 1st post

You were there when times got hard:

Dhalsim hamster

And most importantly, you were always there whenever I needed a good laugh:

Acrobatic Hamster

I'm gonna miss you.

Rest In Peace Nameless Hamster (Jan 2006- Jan 2008)

Working Out

The First Bed (Personal)

I guided my eyes around the room searching for a happier sight. There isn't. The only thing remotely uplifting about that place is the heavily barred window at the far corner. It is the only way I could get out the house without having to pass by them in the hall again.

Yes, I would need a saw and it might get a little messy but given the circumstances, I was even ready to chip through the bars with a blunt toothpick. That was the sharpest object I could find in the room. The management was strict. Come to think of it, I was surprised that they would let anything with edges into the vicinity. I bet if they could have it their way, they would have all their furnitures in the shape of a sphere. A spherical cupboard, a spherical coffee table, a spherical bed.. though it would be rather hilarious to see someone sleep on one.

As I was lifting the side of my lips to form a smile, a series of dry coughs interrupted me. My attention turned to the elderly lying restlessly on the second bed. When I realised that at anytime her next cough could be accompanied by an ounce of blood, I quickly threw my stare to another old lady on the third bed. I was safe. That is until she started speaking to me in an undecipherable dialect. I didn't know what to do and I started to panic.

Suddenly, my eyes ran out of places to hide. I didn't know where else to look anymore. I excused myself and power walked my way out of the room and past the hoards of aged people, all the while trying to keep my cool. When I finally got to the exit, I forcefully slid the doors open to reveal a much more familiar environment.

Unfortunately, the guilt I felt after was really deep. I didn't spend enough time with her in that room, neither have I spent enough time with her while she still remembered who I was.

Meeting The New Lecturers

And so begins another new semester. New semester, new subjects and of course, new lecturers. A senior once told us that throughout our uni life, we will meet all kinds of lecturers with really weird attitudes. He told us that we have to get used to them and their manners because these are the kinds of people who may be our bosses someday.

These are some of the ones I have encountered over my 3 years in uni:

Though I don't think I'd work for a lazy boss. Good things are always bad for us.


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Thank you Nuffnang for making me the featured blogger of January 2008. Read my crappy self introduction here!
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Celebrating 2008 In Singapore

I remembered celebrating last New Year in a cinema waiting for 'Sinking of Japan' to start. I can't find it in the archives anywhere, guess I was too embarrassed to blog about it then. It was really, really depressing. To make matters worse, the movie really, really sucked too. So this year, I swore I would do something OTHER THAN watching a movie or sleeping early to celebrate the new year. And so I did.

As patriotic Malaysians, a bunch of us decided to head over to Singapore to usher in the new year. Why not Malaysia, you ask? Well it's just that as incredibly jakunted Malaysians, we (the gang and I) tend to think that anything done in Singapore would sound somewhat cooler. E.g: "I celebrated the New Year.. IN SINGAPORE!", "I went shopping.. IN SINGAPORE!", "I peed.. IN SINGAPORE!"

A lot of silly things happened while we were there but this next story takes the cake. The thing about being a foreigner in a country is that we tend to become very obedient to the law. Sometimes, too obedient:

So we waited for 5 minutes for the light to turn green. Even the drivers in the cars on the left were laughing at us. We didn't know how strict things are over there so we didn't want to risk it. Oh how things would be totally different if we were on a KL road:


The trip was overall quite pleasant. The people were great, the crowd was great, the atmosphere was great, everything was just perfect. What a way to begin the new year. Happy 2008 people!


Leave it up to me to make a beautiful fireworks display in Singapore look like a bombing in Iraq