Why I Am Still Single

Some wonder why I'm still unattached until now:

Conversation with Darlene

Most have just given up on me. My new year's resolution: Be nicer to the opposite sex.


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AVP2 sucked, there I said it. The 'afterparty' was better though. We had a small bloggers and webmasters gathering at ochacha. Though I spent most of the time chatting with Esther, Mr. Tall and Eddie's partner.
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Why I'd Rather Not Use Public Toilets

I found this written on one of the toilet doors in a public restroom. Mind you that we have to pay 30 cents per entry:

Our 30 cents worth

On the bright side, at least there's reading material for those who can't crap without one.


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I am back in Skudai :( Did you know that the 1st of January IS NOT a public holiday in Johor? Now you know. Kill me now.
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Ben & Buffet

For super kiasu Malaysian Chinese like me, a buffet isn't so much as a fulfilling dinner but really more of a challenge to eat more than you actually paid for.

And that's quite simple to do, just stay there longer and eat more. And this is made even easier since the management usually never sets a time limit for their buffet meals. But truth of the matter is, they don't really need to:

Our greed sets its own time limit.


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Thank you Nuffnang & Exabytes for the free movie tickets. Alien vs. Predator 2 here I come!
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KY's Xmas Eve Party

Instead of lying on the couch at home and watching Christmas special, I decided that I should be doing something different this Christmas. So I got off my lazy ass, kidnapped Esther and attended KY's Christmas eve party.

Besides the free booze, the other reason that got me excited about attending a party filled with strangers was that most of the attendees were celebrity bloggers. KY, Suanie, Fireangel, Kimberly, Ringo, STiger, the whole gang was all there, in the flesh.

Now on my list of things to do before I die, there is a checkbox for "taking pictures with a celebrity, ANY celebrity". So since I am attending a party where all of the big names in blogging are rounded up in one house, this was my chance to finally get that box checked. Or so I thought:

It's weird that I read their all their posts but couldn't even sum up that one ounce of gut to say, "Hi". Yes, I know. Sewjin has no testicles. There's even a picture to prove it:

Picture stolen from KY's facebook. Bag stolen from Esther.

At the end of the night, I didn't take one single photo (or even talked) with any of the big shots. Story of my life. Anyway, thanks Sueter, Justin & Esther for keeping me company that night. It was fun getting to know you guys.

My History With Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone!

Won't Go JCo Again

A week ago, I queued for 30 minutes. Now this is a big deal to me because the last I queued for anything was for a silly roller coaster ride when I was at Sunway Lagoon. I was 16 and I was too young and too afraid to yell, "This is bullshit!" then storm away dramatically.

Don't get me wrong, I still think that any queue that is longer than one human being is not worth being in at all. It's just.. well it was my mum:

(Nearing the J.Co Donut queue)

Ben: My god, look at that queue! 50 hungry people walking extra slowly for their food. Haha-

Mum: Make that 51.

Ben: What?

Mum: You're standing in line. I wanna see what the hype is all about.

Ben: Then YOU queue up for it!

Mum: The line is too long.

Ben: EXACTLY!

Mum: I don't get your point. Anyway, you're standing in line and I'll go shop at Jusco. Tata.

So that was how I ended up behind a 30 feet long queue. At first, I wanted to just push the guy in front of me, let the entire line drop in a domino effect and have so much chaos ensue that J.Co would have to close down for the day. It just felt so stupid standing in line for deep fried pieces of dough and if that wasn't enough, the line was barely moving and I was the last in line for 5 minutes.

Picture this, in front: an insanely long line of sweaty smelly people, in the back: FREEDOM! I had this window for 5 whole minutes and I didn't do a thing! That was until a couple queued right behind me and it was then for some reason, I started to take the line very seriously. So serious that at one time:

(A lady and child passes by in front of me)

Ben: Excuse me. You're cutting. *serious face*

Lady: Oh no no no! I'm just passing by! Sorry! Sorry!

Ben: Hm. *serious face*

I know, I was a jerk. But that is what standing in line alone in line for half an hour does to a man. One thing though, the long line blew my belief that Malaysians do not like to queue right out the doors. People were actually taking pictures, a lot of them I might add. At least they had something to do. I counted the number of boxes on the linen shirt the guy in front of me was wearing. 32.

An eternity passed and I finally got to the counter. I quickly picked every donut in sight, paid for them and got the hell out of there. A bite and a taste later.. well IF you ask me, the queue wasn't worth it all. I stress the word "if" because I know that there a lot of J.Co fans out there. Good for you, at least the queue was worth your while. It didn't for mine.

IHateMyMoto

I bought a new handphone 2 days ago and it was THE single most torturous purchase I have ever made in my entire life. It didn't help much either that I was going on a trip to visit my relatives in Kedah at about the same time. You'll see what I mean:

Day 1 (Saturday):

11.00am: Bought a MotoRAZR v6. Ben is very happy.

11.05am: Finds out on the way to the car that the phone suddenly cannot be switched on. Goes back to the dealer immediately. Ben is unhappy.

11.10am: Dealer says the software is corrupted. He apologised profusely and replaced the handphone. Ben is happy again.

11.20am: Finds out on the way home that the handphone cannot detect the SIM card. Goes back to the dealer immediately.. again. Ben is pissed.

11.30am: Dealer says that the phone is a tad sensitive to scratches. Tells Ben to change the SIM card. Unfortunately, that has to wait till Monday. Ben is very pissed.

Day 2 (Sunday):

0.00am: Waiting for Monday.

11.59am: One more minute to Monday.

Day 3 (Monday):

0.00am: It's Monday biatch!

9.00am: Goes to Maxis to change SIM cards. The handphone finally detects it. Ben is overjoyed!

9.05am: Leaves for Kedah. Ben is still overjoyed!

9.06am - 1.00pm: The handphone powered itself down 3 times for no reason throughout the journey. Ben is back into pissed mode.

1.01pm: Calls the dealer. Dealer says to do a master reset.

1.02pm: After doing a master reset, the handphone now cannot detect any network whatsoever. Ben wants to piss into the dealer's mouth.

So now I have to wait till my Kedah trip to be over before I can return (once again!) to the dealer. I hope that they let me switch to an entirely different handphone. Screw Motorola. Here's a clearer picture of my encounter.

I mean, why bother getting a product that will give you PMS?

We Stared

Stealing glances at beautiful girls that walk by has become such a crucial part of a guy's life ever since puberty hit. That one short second where we have to scan the chick's hair, face, boobs, body cut and legs then turn to your other guy friends and give a 1-10 rating (and a high five).

It is not an easy feat mind you, to look at a girl from top to bottom in less than a second without having the subject or anyone noticing your horny eyes. There are the ones who have perfected the art:

(In a queue, a hot girl passes by)

Normie: Hot girl.

Ben: I see her! I see her!

Normie: Oh man, isn't she so hot?

Ben: Yeah she is. She has really nice-

Queue attendant: Dia dari Thailand.

(Awkward silence)

Normie: Apa?

Queue attendant: Amoi yang kamu dua tengok tu, dia dari Thailand. *wink*

Then there are those who should just take the safe route and turn to Friendster, with anonymous profile viewing turned on.

Pawned By Penang Hill

We made a day trip to Penang Hill on our fourth day of vacation. The weather up there was rather breezy and it certainly made our 2km hike to the canopy walk very bearable. Note that I said to the canopy walk. All the while, I thought that we WERE walking in a canopy walk. When we finally arrived at the end of our hike, to my horror I found this waiting for us:

the REAL canopy walk

I have serious issues with heights. So much so that jumping sometimes makes me nauseous. But I wasn't gonna let the gang find about this so when I saw this unreliable bridge that's hanging 60 feet above the forest, I quickly shouted:

(After seeing the bridge)

Ben: Have to pay. It's not worth it. Let's go back.

Normie: What?

Ben: Have to pay.

Normie: We walked 2km all the way here and it only costs RM5 per person.

Ben: It's not worth it.

Normie: We're crossing the bridge.

Ben: Let's go back.

So we all paid the fee, we all crossed the bridge and we all lived happily ever after. The end. ... Ok fine here's what really happened. The bridge is connected by 4 gigantic trees and there's a pit stop at every one of them. I crossed the first one and I was pretty confident about going all the way, when:

(The tree shook)

Ben: HOLY HELL! THE TREE IS SHAKING!

Adrian: That is why they have a limit of 5 people per tree.

Ben: BUT THERE'S 6 OF US! I'M NOT GONNA DIE LIKE THIS! I'M TURNING BACK!

So there you go. I turned back at the first stop and as a result of that, I quickly acquired various new nicknames such as bo jiao (no dick) and bo hut (no balls). Even the counter guy was laughing at me when he saw me screaming that I wanna go back. The score: Penang Hill 1, Ben 0.

Here's what goes inside Ben The Acrophobe's head while he's crossing the bridge: whenever the bridge shakes or creaks, images of him falling down head first onto the ground below starts flashing through his mind over and over again. And may I add that the bridge ALWAYS shakes and creaks. This is one fear that is gonna take me more than just therapy to get over. Here's a sketch:

Photos of the trip here.


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Edit 13th Nov: Wanyean's father passed away last night.
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Penang Is Evil

And we have Adrian (the host) to thank for this. Fine, it was partly our fault too because we wanted so badly to savour every great tasting food in Penang that we ended up having 7 meals per day. I wish I was exaggerating.

Besides eating and more eating, we also spent an entire afternoon at Penang Hill. Of course, that shall be a post for another day. Some photos of the trip here.

Ouch, My Ego

The first stop of our 5 day vacation was the quaint town of Kampar (again). CK, the host, warmly welcomed us to his hometown with an SMS:

Apparently, our arrival was literally a pain in the ass. For two days, he showed us around the land of beautiful girls, Ipoh. There really isn't much to do there but eat Bean Sprout Chicken and buy lots of Fragrant Biscuits. It was gonna be a dull trip if not for the newly opened waterpark in the city called The Lost World of Tambun.

The waterpark is built by the same people who brought to us Sunway Lagoon. This one was a lot smaller and the rides weren't as crazy. At least I think they weren't as crazy. I guess at 22, most of us have already outgrown the 'waterpark' stage of our lives. Not only are the water slides not fast enough for us, they weren't even FOR us anymore.

Take the park's most intimidating ride for example:


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It was a mistake anyway to put two of the heaviest guys in the gang in one tube. No points for guessing.


Next stop, Penang!

Grudge Against Yellow Man

Growing up, I have always had this slight fear for children's mascots like Barney, Ronald McDonald and Big Bird of Sesame Street. I guess it's because ever since I was 3, I knew well enough how the big evil corporations are using these silly mascots to market their products to the younger audience.

That and coupled with the fact that I feel incredibly uneasy around men who were either in heavy make-up or oversized suits. Then to my horror, DIGI introduced the "yellow man" as their brand new mascot early this year.


Thick make-up. Check.
Oversized suit. Check.
RUN CHILD!

The first time I saw their commercial where a yellow man was shown following every digi user wherever they went, it sent chills down my spine. The worse part is this 'yellow man' craze caught and more yellow man commercials were being churned out by DIGI every month since.

Luckily, the yellow man craze has died down recently but for some reason, their worst ad ever, the Silent Mode commercial is still playing in local cinema ads. I honestly despise every second of it. I wish their competitor, Maxis, would just come up with something to obliterate the yellow men completely.

It can't be too direct, it's gotta be subtle and clever:

Maybe I am being too direct but that's just how much I hate the yellow man.


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It may take a while for me to respond to your comments (if any). I'm still on a holiday around west Malaysia with the gang :D
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Pack Rat

If there's one thing I dislike about vacations, it's packing for it.

I have too many "what ifs" going on in my head when I open up that wardrobe.


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It may take a while for me to respond to your comments (if any). I'll be away on a holiday around west Malaysia with the gang for a while.
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