Being A Banana Sucks
I have been living in Skudai (a Mandarin-speaking town) for almost one and a half year. Though I'm no where near able to carry a decent conversation in Mandarin, I have become pretty confident when it comes to ordering my food in the language. Today, that confidence is shattered:
(In a coffeeshop)
Ben: I'm having yee mee, what about you?
York: If I told you, you're gonna have to order it for me.
Ben: No problem.
York: Hah, really?! Hahaha!
Ben: HEY I CAN DAMN WELL ORDER ANYTHING YOU WANT IN MANDARIN, OK?!
York: Ok, let me make it easier for you. I want the exact same thing you're having.
Ben: Grrr.
Now, ordering my food usually involves me just walking to the hawker, telling him/her what I want, how big I want my portion to be, and to leave vegetables out of it. That's it. They always just say, "Ok." and I return to my seat with a huge sense of accomplishment. Not today:
(Ben walks up to the hawker stall. Mandarin in italics.)
Ben: I want two yee mee please. Both of bigger portions.
Hawker: Huh? You want two bowls of yee mee or two portions of yee mee in one bowl?
Ben: [What the hell did she just say?]
Hawker: Well?
Ben: I want two.
Hawker: Two of what?!
Ben: Two.. Two. Two.
Hawker: Maybe you should call a friend over to help you order.
Ben: Two. No vegetables.
York was laughing his ass off as he was rushing over to help me order. The yee mee tasted sour that day.
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Side note: Hearts & Lightbulbs Valentines Charity Event. Venue changed to Laundry Bar, The Curve!
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9 comments:
i stumbled upon your site. I gotta say I enjoy reading your blog, very cute and very funny!! i have lots of banana friends and understood the frustrations you are going through. my advise is get a gf who speaks mandarin to help you polish it up. :)
leci: get a gf? have you read the post before this? -sobs-
anyway, your theory won't work. my ex was Chinese educated but we ended up speaking English 24/7. Me too stubborn :D
lol. I'm also a banana, and all my relatives urge me to at least learn to speak Mandarin. But it's just so hard to speak it out :( Wonder their reaction if they know I'm taking a French course instead of Mandarin, heh.
Bonjour, messieurs. Comment allez-vous aujourd'hui?
Perhaps you can share your french lessons so we all can benefit. Adding yourself a wow factor so you won't choke up on the girls the next time. LOL.
Most my banana friends manage to speak some dialect especially cantonese (due to KL region). i guess it has to do with the surroundings.
You poor thing...!!! I can understand how you felt. LOL!!!
I'm a banana as well, but not 100% banana like u lar, i can speak Mandarin since young but couldn't read or write. Relatives always tease me wan. Sigh!
But I'm proud to say that I understand a lot of dialects - Hokkien, Mandarin, Cantonese, Hakka, Foochow.
Ben, learn mandarin lar, it wont do u any harm wat.
Ah, the hawker was confused. Actually you could just make your regular order, then say "jia- yi\ ge\(add one more)".
That'd help, I think. I'm a banana myself xD
why do you call those chinese who can speak chinese (or is it just mandarin?) banana????
cenn: i'll tell you right now what their reaction would be. they'll totally flip out. i took french for two semesters and my parents kept pestering about it.
leci: Je suis très bien! In order to do that, i have to actually start brushing up on my french that i've totally neglected one semester ago.
i don't surroundings play a really important role. friends do.
clare: oh then u not too banana la. i wan to learn mandarin one, just that all my friends are speaking to me in english! how to learn?!
cy: u can speak hokkien. same like clare la, not too banana.
pinksterz: bananas are yellow (chinese) on the outside but white (caucasian) on the inside.
So is a banana that is not too banana, a banana or not a banana? Lol lol!
Here, have a banana xD
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