Sunday, October 29, 2006

Our Other Dog Hating Neighbour

Our dog, Chocy, has been making new enemies around the neighbourhood. After the argument with our next door neighbour on the right, we decided to chain Chocy up for a while. However, the limited movement space sometimes has Chocy struggling to break free. This is usually accompanied by incessant barking and moaning that drives even ourselves up the walls.

That's when our neighbour from the left, an old grandma, resolves to take matters into her own hands. So what does a woman of 80 year life experience who have (on the way) figured out what is good and bad, right and wrong, do to quiet our dear Chocy down? She lights a firecracker and throws it at our poor dog.

Normie saw the whole thing and quickly went outside to confront her:

Normie: Ah-ma, why did you throw a firecracker at our dog?
Grandma: I wanted to watch my TV show, the dog was so noisy.
Normie: But what you just did is inhuman!
Grandma: You raised your voice at me! I'm an aging grandmother and YOU still want to pick on me. Didn't your parents teach you anything?
Normie: ...

She could get with anything if she wants to with a statement like that:

(In court)
Judge: So it says here that you robbed a bank, raped a young boy on the streets and murdered your daughter-in-law. What do you have to say for yourself?
Grandma: I'm old.
Judge: Oh well then, you're free to go. Here's a gold-plated fake teeth for your troubles.

Speechless, Normie gave up and went back in. He couldn't say or do anything and neither could we. Each of us were trained to fully respect the elderly without question and we did. I met Adrian (who's in KL) online to tell him about the incident:

(On MSN)
Ben: Our grandma neighbour..
Adrian: What's her problem this time?
Ben: threw a firecracker at our dog.
Adrian: FUCK!
Ben: Normie confronted her but she played the "I'm old" card.
Adrian: Let's get back at her.
Ben: How?
Adrian: We sneak into her room while she's asleep, surround her bed with firecrackers and then light them all up at once.
Ben: Wouldn't that get her killed?
Both: ....
Ben: I'll get a copy of her keys.
Adrian: I'll be back with a fresh supply of fireworks.

There's the elderly and there's the firecracker wielding devil woman. One needs to be respected and another needs to be sent back to where 'it' belongs.

12 comments:

Din

hahaha, do record the incident when you kill her yah.

btw, why do you need a dog for anyway. get rid of it, you then can afford a few more packets of maggi.

earl-ku

err ... instead of firecrackers why dont try something more creative?

get a few of those cheap super glue, a bunch of toothpicks from the chicken rice stall ... squuze into her locks and car doors ...

get a chicken from the market, with the feather and all ... wrap in plastic, a few layer if possible, find a place to store it there in hot humid condition, after a week, get it back, hurl into her yard ... the cleaning is gonna be a bitch ...

wakakakak

Benjamin

din: and bread, lots and lots of gardenia bread..

earl-ku: i would really hate to be the one who pisses you off.

Jason

Get rid of the dog.

Jayelle

LOL... wah lao. better blog everything about your grandma neighbour. at least a constant recurring role on The SewJin Blog. :P

Hui Sen

It's true. My good buddy's granma and mum are spending the week in his apartment. He's been saying she does shit cos she knows she can get away with it.

Benjamin

jason: Ok la confession. five us thought that the dog would make a really good chick magnet. we could take turns to walk the dog around in the evening and 'scout' the neighbourhood for pretty young things. not working out though because everyone is so damn lazy.

jayelle: she should get a spot in 'My Characters'!

hui sen: so you're saying the devil woman is IN your friend's house? this makes everything so much easier :D

-Princess Shin-

Haha.. we are too respectful for our own good..

The Eternal Wanderer

Hello there! Dropped by your blog via BlogsMalaysia. I like your writing - whimsical, witty and lighthearted. It's not everyday I come across a blog with such refreshing and light hearted posts. Good job!

I have to agree with you there regarding old folks who plays the age card to get their way. I get annoyed and irritated by them just as much as ill people who use their illness to take advantage of people. But there's nothing we could do - Asian values dictate that we obey and respect our elders.

But my respect for them has to go both ways, respect me and I'll also respect you. You do sh!t stuff and I just don't give a sh!t about you.

Of course, when it comes to my own mom, I won't be that way. Otherwise, I'll probably end up being hung, drawn and quartered two times over.

CY

Put the dog in your neighbour's yard. That way, you can get rid of the dog AND the ahma! :P

Benjamin

-princess shin-: damn right we are.

the eternal wanderer: woah, thanks for the compliment! [punctures oversized head and drops back down to earth] i don't know but i always thought that there are some youngsters out there who are just good with old people. the elderly can become a real pain the ass in front of you but then my other friend would chat them up and the next thing you know, they become super nice.

cy: no use. the ahma will eat the dog.

Wilson

Ah yes, the age card; a timeless tactic for the elderly to pretty much get carte blanche to get away with a lot of things people would be metaphorically crucified for in everyday life.

Even war criminals and serious offenders are given leniency if they seemed elderly or better yet, infirm.

But before we move swiftly to condemn the elderly and their wacky antics, there are other things to consider. I doubt that animal rights were a big deal back in her day. A lot of things we take as social norms were not even shadows of a concern say a decade or two ago.

I'm not justifying what she's doing but perhaps we should take a step back and place ourselves in her orthodontic sole-lined shoes before we jump straight into conclusions.

Then again, maybe she's just an ill-tempered b....

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