The Worst Birthday Greeting Ever

Darlene said that seeing as I was a selfish meanie who thinks of nothing but himself, even something as simple as remembering a friend's anyone's birthday would prove too much of a task for me. Naturally, I was out to prove her wrong. Yesterday was her birthday:

(On SMS: 12.40am)
Ben: Happy Birthday Darlene! See I told you I'd remember.
Darlene: You're 40 minutes late. Bet you saw something else which reminded you of my birthday and quickly SMSed me.
Ben: I.. er..
Darlene: Well?!
Ben: I was staring at the night sky filled with millions of stars that were especially bright tonight. Then I knew, something great was happening right now. Something.. special. Then I felt movement in my bowels and needed to take a crap. That's when I thought of you.
Darlene: Aaaawww~ How sweet of you to think of me even when you're in the toilet. I bet everything went so smoothly that at the end of your crap fest, a flower popped out your ass.
Ben: Are you kidding?! I was suffering from constipation the whole way through! My anus was tightly shut and my crap all hardened to stone. I was so constipated that the toilet bowl said to my ass, "Stop thinking about Darlene already and FEED ME!"
Darlene: ...
Ben: Happy birthday.

Ok maybe she was right about the 'meanie' part.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Side note: Just Sewjin finally turns one. Check out how this blog started out.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------