Chance To Get A Girlfriend, Reduced

Being the weirdo I am, I love doing things that make people go, "What the hell is wrong with you?!" It's fun seeing their faces turn all disgusted-like and trying hard to figure out, well, exactly what the hell is wrong with me. For example:

(During class)
Ben: Hey, check this out.
Normie: What?
Ben: [Uncaps his correction pen, puts the tip into one of his nostrils and inhales deeply] Aaaaah~ I think I saw God.
Normie: ...
Ben: You can't have any.
Normie: What the hell is wrong with you?!

Today when our lecturer started class, we were all asked to move to the front of the class. Now, I remembered vividly that Kim was sitting right behind me AND he was wearing a white t-shirt.

So when everyone got up to move, I just sat there waiting for my chance. Finally, when the white t-shirt finally got close enough, I gave him a little nudge then proceeded to scratch my balls. Hahahaha! He is gonna freak! When I looked up hoping to catch a glimpse of his probably grossed out face, to my horror, THE PERSON IN WHITE WASN'T KIM. It was:

Ben: SITI?!
Siti: (Horrified look)
Ben: Bukan.. tadi ada lalat situ.
Siti: (Speedwalks to the front. Sits down with her girlfriends. Whispers while pointing at me.)
Ben: NOOOOOooooOOOooo!!

Knowing how women spread gossip, four years of singlehood seems more imminent.