Friday, March 09, 2007

FFK-ing Assholes

We all have those friends. Friends who get all sexcited when it comes to planning for a trip or maybe just a small outing. He'll always be the first to say something like, "Hey, let's go to a movie! Let's go earlier because we could go bowling before that! I am SO gonna beat you this time! And maybe after the movies, we could go karaoke! It'll be a fun day!"

But when the day comes, after you've skipped that one afternoon lecture and you're all jazzed up for the outing with your spiked up hairstyle and nicely ironed clothes, in comes the friend. He says he can't go. And he never gives just ONE excuse. No. It's elaborate like this, "I'm sorry guys, I can't go. I'm tired. I'm broke this week. Jupiter and Venus are more than 120 degrees apart."

Right after that, he makes it his mission to bring you down too with his weird-ass reasonings, "You guys shouldn't go too. It's a huge crowd today / It's gonna rain tomorrow / It's Stay-At-Home Day."

We planned hit the clubs tonight. It's been 2 weeks since we've been down to JB city. In fact, it's been 2 weeks since we've done ANYTHING during the weekends. Life was starting to bore here and with angpau money to spend, all signs point to, "DO SOMETHING AWESOME TONIGHT!". Tell me, what could be more awesome than dancing with super hot chicks the whole night through?

Plans were made, 6 of us were going. After waiting for a while, the 'friend' finally revealed himself. Now since there's 5 of us, it isn't such a big deal that he's not going but just thinking of the many times he stood us up, I just had to lash out at him:

(On MSN)
Friend: I can't go.
Ben: FUCK YOU!
Friend: I am tired. I played basketball and went to the gym for 3 days straight. I mean, can you imagine how tired I am?!
Ben: Dude, I've been doing that too.
Friend: No you haven't.
Ben: I know what I have been doing.
Friend: Besides, why should we go out on a Friday night? It's better to sleep or play DOTA!
Ben: Enough, I'm not hearing anymore from you. Screw you.
Friend: ...
Ben: You go find the nearest dumpster, dig a hole deep enough so when you jump into it, you'll break every single bone in your body.
Ben: After that, call me. I'll come right over and pee into your mouth till you drown.
Ben: Then with the solid waste I've accumulated in my body for 3 days, I'll bury your corpse with my own shit.
Ben: Then for being so fucking smelly, I'll do the whole world a favour by pouring kerosene all over you and lighting it up with a flamethrower.
Friend: ...
Ben: Fuck you.

He didn't take me seriously. I need to hurt someone.

10 comments:

Joash Chan

Did you spell "excited" as "sexcited" intentionally?

MrDurian

Man, you need to find some new friends. Or maybe get laid...that'll solve all your issues dude.

Benjamin

joash chan: why yes, yes i did.

mrdurian: you're my best friend.

Cen Ni

Ben, I feel you. Go out and hv fun tonight! =D

december23

what meant by "Jupiter and Venus are more than 120 degrees apart"?

Wan Yean

dont so bitter lah. u got 2 more years to go, facing this kinda ppl. heheh

Jen

your rage is understandable. and he could of thought of a better excuse. pfft. and he wanted to drag everyone down with him? doubly deserving of a piss-sodde, shat-covered death.

Jen

*piss-sodden

bevE

*stabs* dota evil !

Benjamin

cen ni: i DID!

december23: it's just a saying, people tend to give ANY excuses when FFK-ing.

wanyean: 2 years is too long!

jen: u left out the part i burned his carcass. heheh.

beve: *evades* no it's not!

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