Saturday, November 25, 2006

I Hate Kids

As I'm blogging, there's a little girl standing by my side watching me well, blog. I am so uncomfortable right now. See my family is having a steamboat dinner and decided to invite another family over. And you guessed it right, they brought along a 3 year old kid over.

Now it's already bad enough that I have no idea how to deal with little kids. I mean they're SO SMALL! Walking with their small legs, eating with their small mouths and thinking with their small noodle. I have this fear whereby everytime I try to make contact with them either physically or verbally, I would 'break' them. You know, shattering their bones with a slight pat on the back or blow their brains out by saying something they don't understand.

Yes, I'm weird like that. Anyway, this kid beside me was particularly inquisitive. She would get you to answer a question and then follow it up by a series of, "Why? Why? Why?" It can get pretty annoying:

Little Girl: Koko, what are you doing?
Ben: I'm playing a computer game.
Little Girl: Why?
Ben: Because it's fun.
Little Girl: Why?
Ben: Because I get to kill other people online.
Little Girl: Why?
Ben: Because I'm a killer.
Little Girl: Why?
Ben: I'm joking.
Little Girl: Why?
Ben: Because I thought it was funny.
Little Girl: Why?
Ben: Because I like to make jokes.
Little Girl: Why?
Ben: Because I want to hide the fact that I'm empty and hollow inside.. (breaks down and cries)

A 3 year old just psycho-analysed me and I was not going to let it slide by. I tried giving her a taste of her own medicine:

Ben: (Wipes tear away) Hey little girl, why are you wearing pink today?
Little Girl: Why you ask?
Ben: Because I'm curious.
Little Girl: Why?
Ben: Because I want answers to everything.
Little Girl: Why?
Ben: Because I want to hide the fact that I have a poor memory and I need to keep asking to keep myself reminded.. (breaks down and cries again)

This little kid will make a great future psychologist.

11 comments:

Eve

HAhaha..tat's just so funny..

jerng

hahaha....

qiwei

Hahahahaha! Kids say the darnest things!

-=[W]=-

...or she could make a great philosopher. Socrates often professed total ignorance to his "enlightened" peers so he could force them into examining their own self-beliefs and contradictions.

Kids are just naturally curious.

Pyin

cool we found a way to make ben cry now... why? why? why? why? why? why?

yeah.. ben's gonna be a great dad in the future... ^_^

Benjamin

eve: not to me it wasn't. -sobs-

jerng: yeah...

qiwei: i could make a show just by interacting with them little critters.. too bad it's already been done :(

wilson: you'll never hear "kids are like young socrates" anytime soon

pyin: a great dad? did you not read the title of the post?!

CY

Wow! After this tell-all expose, someone still thinks you'll make a great dad. Go for it, Sewjin! Don't give up this chance! :)

P/s: pyin is a girl right?

Joash Chan

another great post, Ben

Benjamin

cy: would make a good pick up line though. Imagine walking up to a hot chick in a bar and go, "hey, i think you'd make a great mom".

joash chan: heheh, thanks man.

CY

And I imagine Ben scrambling out of the bar, nomadic.

Hijackqueen

awww... isn't they cute.

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