Monday, October 16, 2006

My Indian Barber Haircut

Indian barber shops are dirt cheap for a reason. When I got home from my first indian barber hair cut, my mom kept telling me that I finally look more like a "good boy". Then I got back to UTM and the gang couldn't stop asking me if I wanted to sell them a vacuum cleaner. That's when I promised myself I would never step foot into an indian barber shop again.

But of course, promises are made to be broken. Today Adrian wanted to get his haircut there, reason being that his part time job as an insurance salesman requires him to look more matured. His boss's slogan would be "Nothing says Buy My Insurance like a bad haircut".

Since we were all in a tight budget, Kim and I decided to tag along. I know, what was I thinking right? Maybe I just got in the wrong barber shop last time and told myself that this haircut would be better. Well it didn't help too much that the name of the barber shop was "Kedai Gunting Sai". It didn't help too much either that before we entered, a bald man came out and said to us in a heavy Indian accent, "You have chosen the right place" while stroking his er.. head.

(Seated on the chair and feeling like I'm on a death sentence)
Barber: How would you like your last meal to be?
Ben: What?!
Barber: I asked how would you like your haircut to be?
Ben: Thin and short.
Barber: [Yanks Ben's hair with a broken comb]
Ben: Can't you slow it down?
Barber: You be a man about it!

(After he's done cutting)
Ben: Oh god, my head hurts so bad. (By now, the barber has my head locked up in his arms) Er.. what are you doing?
Barber: [Snaps Ben's head to the left]
Ben: What the..
Barber: [Snaps Ben's head to the right]
Ben: Aaaaaahhhh!
Barber: [Pushes Ben to the front and starts giving him a ruthless back massage]
Ben: Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
Barber:
Kid, you gotta relax.
Ben: You're a barber! What are you doing giving me a friggin' massage?!
Barber: [Continues whacking]
Ben: Ooh it feels like you're throwing bricks against my behind.
Barber: All done. That will be RM7.


For RM7 I got my hair yanked out my skull, my bones busted, and a brief lesson on manliness and anger management. Who cares if it's bang for buck (quoted by Adrian). It's back to my regular quiet and torture-free RM20 haircut.

6 comments:

Jason

Those neck braking actions are a classic wei, only the indians can do it flawlessly.

Benjamin

ok la it does feel good, but.. WHY?! Adrian actually got his neck snapped first and I freaked out.

Pyin

u ever try asking ur roomates to help u cut de kah??.. jus wondering. =D wonder how tat would turn out..

y no pic of ur latest haircut de?? hmmmm

Benjamin

actually i know lots of guys here (of the other race) who does it at the hostels. they'd usually cut at the emergency staircases so no one would see.

picture ah.. haiya how different will i look, right?

Anonymous

i always imagine 'em indian barbers molesting your head and going ,"OOOhhh, kapala manyak bulat ooohh!!!"

Benjamin

if that happens, you'll see me speeding off the shop with my hair half-cut.

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