Saturday, October 21, 2006

Compliments

Compliments are something I have problems receiving as well as giving. When someone gives me a compliment, I always blush and say, "Thank you" in a really soft tone then proceed to curtsey. How else do you respond to a compliment without sounding cocky?!

And things turn from bad to worse when it comes to dishing out compliments, for me anyway. I'm sure most of you have seen those commercials where a kid gains a questionable ability to outsmart their parents just by drinking a glass of milk. I hated those commercials because at the end of them, the parents would always pat their child's head and go, "My son is so smart". It's just so fake!

Ok maybe that's because I come from a family that doesn't show much affection through words:

(I was in Form 1)
Ben:
Dad!

Dad: What?
Ben: I am selected as the school prefect! I feel like a young policeman!
Dad: Congratulations, you're now one step closer to being part of our country's corrupt law system.

Heck, the best compliment I've ever gotten from my parents was, "Thank god it's a boy!" but even that was quickly followed by, "This kid looks sick. Doctor, please tell me there's still one more." Don't get me wrong though, I don't come from a broken home or anything. The love is there but my family prefers to hide them inside a huge barrel of sarcasm. Take this recent conversation with my little sister for example:

(On MSN)
Lil sis:
Bennie, I got 6th in class! Dance with me!

Ben: 6th?!
Lil sis: Good or bad? It's good la weh!
Ben: How many students are there in your class?
Lil sis: 34. I'm in the best class and I got 6th!
Ben: ...
Lil sis: Be happy for me!
Ben: You're 28th from behind.
Lil sis: I hate you.

There's love in it, somewhere.

6 comments:

Pyin

yeah.. i feel the love >_<

qiwei

Well, generally Asian parents don't compliment their kids. It's our culture. The reason is to keep us humble. I wonder if it makes any sense cuz I always believe that compliment is another way of motivation. Without motivation, there will be no success.

-Princess Shin-

haha.. I'm terrible at giving compliments too.. esp to my family.
When my mum ask me how was the food she cook, i can only answer her a grumpily sound which almost resembles 'OK..' when in fact i do love her that particular dish! (it's almost non-existant!)

Sigh.. =)

Benjamin

pyin: haha, don't we all.

qiwei: Well my parents compliment but they don't do it so straight forward. If my dad were to give me a proper compliment, I would freak out.

pincess shin: i know EXACTLY what you mean :D

Bernice

bennie screw the green la.. brown is better! =D wayh to striking now =.="

-=[W]=-

Qiwei has a point. The lack of open and direct compliments has roots in the espousing of humility within Asian culture; as in not to take the good for granted and being gracious, which is good in a sense. However, taken to its extreme conclusion; it seems that we're avoiding positive re-enforcement even when its obviously due.

My own parents raised me to give credit when it's due but to accept mine with as much grace and humility as I can muster. However, I do catch myself blatantly denying due credit on the extremely rare occasions when it's due :P

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