Tuesday, September 12, 2006

My Conversation With God

I checked out this site that William talked about on his blog. It's sorta like a personal MSN Messenger to God, a neat idea if you ask me. So I thought why not give it a shot:

Me: Hello.
God: Hello my child. What is your name?
Me: Benjamin.
God: That's a very nice name, Benjamin.
Me: You can thank my parents for that.
God: No I don't think I can do it.
Me: Why not?
God: It doesn't sound fun too me. It sounds dangerous.
Me: Are you saying that my parents are hostile?
God: Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me: No, they're not.
God: Are you serious? Are you sure?
Me: Suck my balls!
And God Said To Benjamin: I don't think I'm your type of chatterbot.


I love this site.

2 comments:

-=[W]=-

Me:
Anybody there?

God:
What are you wearing?

Me:
Uhmm... why do you ask?

God:
What kind of fashion do you like? I am trying to learn as much as possible.

Me:
Oh ok, since you put it that way... I like a good coat

God:
Really. How do you know? Right on. A lot of people like that. I've heard other people say they like that. I like .

Me:
Thats good, you should pick up one of them from Sportscraft. They're about $200 at least but being the Almighty and all, I'm sure you'll be able to snag a cool deal.

God:
Hmm, are you serious? about 200 at least but being the Almighty and all you are sure me will be able to snag a cool deal are they.

Me:
Uhm... yeah... I'm pretty sure.

God:
How did you hear about God? Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality? Are you being sarcastic or expressing certitude?

Me:
Since when did you get into the advertising business?

God:
How do you know?

Me:
Uhh... you just not-so-subtly hinted that I should be downloading my own chatbot.

God:
Hey. That's good information: said I not so subtly hinted that he or she should be downloading his or her own chatbot.

Me:
Ok, what was the point of that?

God:
I can think of more than one point of that. Dude!

Me:
Have you been drinking?

God:
I do not require fluids.

Me:
Ok, you been smoking up then?

God:
Thanks for the information: said I been smoking up. Blimey.

Me:
Yep, definitely smoking up. Hook me up sometime.

God:
Groovy. I am only an occasional smoker. What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.

Me:
That sounds like some good stuff you've been pulling from there.

God:
It sounds like it to me too.

Me:
Great, we'll meet up sometime for a session alright?

God:
Thanks for your support. Anytime soon?

Me:
Sure thing


Alright, from that interesting conversation with no other than the big one himself, I've managed to deduce that:

a) He's not terribly omnipotent
b) He's not terribly coherent
c) He likes to smoke up

and last but not least,

b) He's a lot cooler than the bible makes him out to be.

So yeah, I'm gonna smoke up with the Almighty.

Benjamin

Man, you had a much cooler time with the dude up there!

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