Inside A Lazy Man's Mind

Have you ever had one of those mornings where you hopped right off bed feeling so unshakeable and bulletproof.. but as soon as you landed on the ground, THUD! A tremor so great it instantly collapses your 80-storey ego right down to the ground. You smack your belly twice and then sadly declare, "I am fat". Yep, I'm having one of those mornings. Thinking that it might just be an optical illusion (yeah right) I went around to ask for a second opinion:

Ben: Am I fat?
Kim: (Sigh of relief) You finally said it. Hey guys, Ben finally admitted that he's fat!

(One by one enters the room)

Adrian: I was gonna tell you but I didn't know how, I am so proud of you.. it's ok.. it's ok..
Normie: Hello FATTY! I've been waiting for 2 months to say that!
CK: (Pokes Ben's belly) I've always wanted to do this.. (poke, poke) Yes, it's exactly how I imagined it would be..

I even had a feeling the floor had something to say too:



Fine, it took me quite sometime to finally give in to the fact that I'm slightly overweight. So this evening, I've decided to put on my dusty reeboks and head out to my taman to do some ol' fashion jogging. Funny thing about jogging is that it almost feels like being in a budget cartoon where the background keeps repeating itself. It is very boring. And there's no real goal whatsoever to achieve either. Where's the excitement? Where's the glamour? Where's the damn cheerleaders?! I hate jogging.

You know what, I don't feel like doing any exercise anymore. Anyway, it looks like it's going to rain. (Looks outside: sun shining brightly, kids running about the field, guys playing football) Plus there's so many robbery cases happening lately, it's very unsafe to jog around the neighbourhood (looks outside again: policemen circling the neighbourhood).

WELL SCREW YOU! I'M GOING TO SLEEP!