Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Driving Exam Gone Bad

Everyone remembers the pain they had to go through to get their driving license. From re-taking their driving exam for the 5th damn time to finally giving up and handing the examiner a RM50 note on their 6th try (promising them that you'll be driving an automatic for the rest of your life).

In case you're wondering, I was one of the few lucky ones who passed on his first driving exam. But it was no cakewalk for me.. AT ALL! I mean I did easily breeze through the 3 toughest tests; J-turn, Parallel Parking and of course the Slopes. No surprise because my driving instructor spent 90% of the time tutoring me on them. All that's left now was the on-road test.

Now see, the thing about passing the on-road exam was that you cannot make more than 4 out 20 driving mistakes (failing to signal, speeding, didn't buckle seatbelt, etc.) Most people pass without making a single mistake and even for those who were still a little drunk from last night's party, they'd at most make 1 mistake. It's understandable because we've all been observing how our parents handle the wheels for 17 years from the backseat. Everything should come naturally to us in this part of the exam.

So I am still curious as to how is it that I was able to strike out on all 4 times during my on-road test:

Examiner: Give a right signal.
Ben: Ok [Wiper goes up, wiper goes down]
(Strike 1)

Examiner: Traffic light is green. Move.
Ben: [Enjin Mati]
(Strike 2)

Ben: Finally, we're done!
Examiner: Good for you. Now unbuckle your seatbelt and let the next driver in.
Ben: [Face goes pale]
Examiner: Oh right, YOU FORGOT TO BUCKLE YOUR SEATBELT THE WHOLE TIME.
(Strike 3)

Examiner: Despite all the mistakes you made today, I am still going to give you a chance. Here's my examination pad. I'm going to hand it over to you and you are going to tell me how badly you want to pass this exam.
Ben: But I don't have a pen.
Examiner: So, tell me in another 'way'.
Ben: Er.. [Reaches for the wallet]
Examiner: Good.. good..
Ben: [Pulls out a photo] This is a picture of my girlfriend. As you can see, she is drop-dead gorgeous and I would like nothing more than to hump her. Problem is, she said she'll only have sex with me if I had my own ride. That is how badly I want to pass the exam.
Examiner: ...
(Strike 4)


Oh right, I was an idiot.


9 comments:

Kitkat

Hahaha... so funny.

Wan Yean

ben can't drive.

Benjamin

kitkat: thanks dude

wanyean: u jaga next post. wahahahaha!

Din

heh, i still remember my first time. I passed on first try, but not before i got 3 strikes for not adjusting the side mirrors, rear-view mirror and then doing a horseriding stunt in the driving school premises.

chloe

i rolled off my seat laughing. thanks for the purple bruise dude.

Benjamin

din: *clutches din's fists tightly* I feel you man. Haha!

chloe: look on the bright side, it IS your favourite colour :D

mrbherng

Nobody passes with more than the score of 17/20 in Malacca during my time. The examiner will by crook or by hook give excuses like using the wrong gears or something weird to be an excuse.

By the way, malaysian driving test is soooooo freaking simple and useless....

hellfried

man. you've got perfect comedic timing! this is no small thing especially since it is done in writing. for example of timing watch old 'seinfeld' episodes. great stuff.

Benjamin

hellfried: woah, i'm being compared to seinfield! thanks man. always nice to make someone smile and even better, laugh their heads off.

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