Our New Pet

In an attempt to make our new house more like a home, 5 of us decided to get a pet:

(Group Discussion)
Kim: Dogs are natural chick magnets. We could certainly use one in our sausage-infested house.
Ben: Great, we'll can train it to sit, stay, shake hands and all them neat tricks.
Kim: No use. Better we train it to do our house chores.
Ben: So you're suggesting we should teach our dog to hold a mop?
Kim: No, silly. We'll just get one of those thick-furred dogs, dip it in Floor Cleaner and have it roll itself all over our house in an even and sequential pattern.
Ben: That has to be the most disturbing idea I've ever heard.

(Normie cuts in)

Normie: Let's train our dog to take all our clothes in when it rains, and then hang them back out when it stops.
Ben: With what? It doesn't even have opposable thumbs!
Normie: ... and it shall cook for us.
Kim: Start it off with Maggi!
Everyone: MAGGI!
Ben: Our dog has no chance of being normal.

So after searching high and low, we finally got ourselves a handsome dalmation. By handsome dalmation of course I meant, two very sick and stray puppies. We were on a tight budget. Initially we planned to steal a newborn from our neighbour's chinese-breed dog but since we did make a wager last week on the maximum number of trips to 'Palmsville' one of us could take in a day, we figured it might be a little early for us to hit a new low.

None of us ever had a pet dog before so the sight of 5 university undergrads jakun-ing over every single thing the dog does was priceless; "Why is it sniffing the ground? Why is it vigorously scratching itself? It's licking me! It's peeing! It's crapping! It's farting!" We decided to go to a local pet store to get some answers and facts. Over there, we found out that we made 3 very crucial mistake:

1. We fed them Pedigree. It causes liver disease and shedding of fur.
2. We fed them condensed milk. It causes diarrhea.
3. Both of the pups were male. Way to make our home less sausage-infested. <---- huge mistake!

And it took us a day to realise mistake number 3.