I Can Do Sports, Serious!

(Basketball)
Kim: Where are you going after this?
Ben: I'm going to play basketball!
Kim: You mean watch them play?
Ben: ...

(Football)
Ahmeng: Jom football!
Ben: I want to play!
Ahmeng: (Looks at Ben from top to bottom) The goalkeeper position has been filled dude.
Ben: But I thought we're not playing with any goalkeepers in a small field?
Ahmeng: Right...

(Swimming)
Normie: Hah?! You sure you can swim? I mean, you can sit on me while I swim if you want to...


I don't get it at all! Everytime I mention about wanting to play a sport, people will start looking at me funny and burst into laughter. I mean do I really that physically incapable to perform any sporting activities? Maybe I do look slow and lazy but I just don't know it. So I took a proper picture of myself and reviewed it. Nothing.

Then I decided to ask for a second opinion. I handed my picture to Normie and Kim and asked them to list out every physical flaw I have that leads them to think I can't do sports for shit.


I gave them this. Nothing wrong right?

In return, they gave me this:

Eyes = Small; Cannot aim.
Fingers = Short and stubby; Cannot hold on to the ball properly.
Arms = Short; Cannot perform blocks and steals well enough.
Body = Long; Can store a large amount of fat and still be slim (No use).
Legs = Short; Cannot run, cannot jump, can't even paddle far enough.
Height = Short; Ben, you are S-H-O-R-T. Get over it.

F-U-C-K.