Saturday, June 10, 2006

City Boy (Personal)

Ever since I could I remember, I’ve always dreamt of living in KL, the city life for the city boy! Every year without fail, my family would take a trip down to the city. Sure we have relatives to visit or friends to see but the main purpose will always be to visit the great city.

The development; I’ll never tire of them glass buildings, shopping malls and skyscrapers.
The shopping; Choices, choices, choices.
The lifestyle; rush, rush, time is money!
The entertainment; Clubs, pool halls, cybercafes, bowling alleys, romantic spots, national events!!
The work environment; only the strongest survive –flexes muscle-

The chicks; yummy  The mindset; Open-minded!

Despite living and breathing Tawau air since I could remember, I’ve tried so hard to groom myself, to prepare myself for this city life. I’ve learnt to act, think and talk like a city boy. I was so determined that I convinced myself, I do not belong in the Tawau ‘dump’. … I can’t speak chinese… I am a fast learner of everything you throw at me, I live in a chinese speaking town and yet I can’t speak chinese. I’m coming clean so listen good, it’s not that I can’t speak chinese, it’s more like I DON’T WANT to speak chinese. I guess by not learning chinese, I would be able to say, I don’t belong to Tawau and instead belong to the city where people converse in the international language! (Everyone put on their judgemental faces! yes…)

Coming to UTM, I thought it was my chance to get to know some city folks. Yay! Finally, I can start putting my skills into good use and blend into the crowd I most fit in. One month later, wouldn’t you know it, I end up with the small-town group. Well I did achieve my main goal, I did blend into the crowd I most fit in…

All that talk about the city being the awesomest place in the world, where the people are awesome, the food are awesome, etc. I guess I just craved a significant change so badly in my life that choosing the most antonym version of Tawau as my ideal habitat and to be as un-Tawau like as possible would force a change in myself.

Why do I want to change so badly? Do I have an attitude problem? Do I need more friends? Am I not studying hard enough? Should I participate in more cocuricullar activities? I’d hope by changing, I would be able to find answers to all my these questions (and a lot more).

I’m not a city boy. I’m just a boy who is constantly looking to change for the better, aren’t we all?


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