I'm Gonna Need Protection for My Protection

Dad had some friends over for dinner yesterday. One of the couples brought their grandchild over because no one was home to babysit her. She was apparently rather popular with the aunties that night, especially my mum. Even one of my uncles went, "Wa you see your mother so happy to hold someone else's grandchild! Eh Ben, your mother wants one of her own!"

Now at first I found it pretty funny because mum went quiet but then the uncle added, "Your mother already has a proposal! She says she's gonna poke holes in your condoms! Haha!" I swear I saw evil in my mum's eyes:

(Enters bedroom, switches on the lights)

Ben: Ma!!

Mum: Uh oh.

Ben: Ma, what are you doing with my condoms?

Mum: I'm er... poking holes in them.

Ben: But why?

Mum: Ventilation.

Ben: Ma...

Mum: One way or the other I WILL get my grandchild, just you wait! Muahahaha! (Fades into darkness)

Not so funny anymore.