Behold, The Cheap Boyfriend

Scenario One

Ling: My birthday coming. I want presents.

Ben: Hey, would you want me to sweep you off your feet onto my white horse and romantically ride into the sunset.. or presents?

Ling: Hm.....

Ben: Still have to think?!

Ling: White horse la!

Ben: Hihihihihihi.

Ling: Don't tell me you're the horse.

Ben: I have no money to buy a horse.

Ling: Then how?

Ben: But got money to buy white cloth.


Scenario 2

Ling: I want diamonds for my birthday.

Ben:

Ling: Such a 'beautiful' diamond! 'Thanks' a lot!

Ben: Fine, I'll touch it up.

Ling: You're bombing my diamonds?

Ben: No. That is a four carrot diamond.

I'm Gonna Need Protection for My Protection

Dad had some friends over for dinner yesterday. One of the couples brought their grandchild over because no one was home to babysit her. She was apparently rather popular with the aunties that night, especially my mum. Even one of my uncles went, "Wa you see your mother so happy to hold someone else's grandchild! Eh Ben, your mother wants one of her own!"

Now at first I found it pretty funny because mum went quiet but then the uncle added, "Your mother already has a proposal! She says she's gonna poke holes in your condoms! Haha!" I swear I saw evil in my mum's eyes:

(Enters bedroom, switches on the lights)

Ben: Ma!!

Mum: Uh oh.

Ben: Ma, what are you doing with my condoms?

Mum: I'm er... poking holes in them.

Ben: But why?

Mum: Ventilation.

Ben: Ma...

Mum: One way or the other I WILL get my grandchild, just you wait! Muahahaha! (Fades into darkness)

Not so funny anymore.

The People At Garmin Will Love Me

Being back in KL means that I have to start making an effort to understand the pains and pressures of city life, a.k.a. the city roads. Lesson one took place last week when I was forced to drive to Puchong for an interview.

This is the route I was supposed to take:



This is the route I took:

I overshot a total of 10 turnings; 6 on the way to the office and 4 on the way back to home. Not bad considering that this is the first time I've driven out of PJ. I swear if my girl wasn't there with me, I literally would have painted the town red.

You're It!

Life after university has been slow:

(In the car, on the way to lunch)

Ben: Let's play tag!

Sis: In the car?

Ben: Yeah, let's rock-paper-scissors!

Sis: But-

Ben: Rock beats scissors. You're it, hahahahaha! *Scoots excitedly away from sister*

Sis: Er...

Ben: Hahahahaha! *continues scooting*

Sis: Dad, I think kor kor needs to a get a job.

Boredom is killing me!