Friday, October 05, 2007

Police Station Affairs

Ever since I got the motorcycle from my uncle, I have been nothing but proud of my new toy:

(At the front gate)

Adrian: Aaah we're finally back home.

Ben: Good driver. Do you have change for a 50?

Adrian: I should've just left you back at the campus.

Ben: Come to think of it, I've never chauffeured you anywhere before. I promise after I get my motorcycle license, I'm gonna bring you around town. You'll be so impressed.

Adrian: And very suicidal.

Ben: You laugh now but when times get desperate, you'll be begging me to give you a ride on my new.. (points)

Adrian: ... clothes hanger?


Yep. My 2 week old motorcycle is missing. At first, I did what every normal college student would do when their stuff goes missing; find the pranksters and interrogate them:

(On the phone)

Ben: WOI!

CK: What?

Ben: Where did you put my motorcycle?!

CK: I didn't touch your motorcycle. Why? Is it missing?


CK: Fuck you, I didn't touch it.

Ben: Fuck you, you DID!

After calling up and losing several friends, that's when I realised that my motorcycle was really stolen. We drove around the neighbourhood hoping that the robber would conveniently leave the motorcycle somewhere out in the open with a "I'm sorry, I didn't know what I was thinking" card attached to it but our efforts were futile.

We then drove to the nearest police station to file a missing vehicle report. Now I was reluctant to go because 1. it is my first time going to a police station and 2. police stations are government offices and we all know how crappy their services can be. I was right:

1. There is no such thing a fit and buff Malaysian police officer, maybe only 1 in 10. They are either too fat or too skinny. It's sad to think that these are the people who are protecting our safety.

2. The first police station we went to wrote the report for us. It was nice of them. Problem is, the police officer operating the computer at that time was computer illiterate and he typed (I shit you not) using just one hand and one finger. It took 2 hours for him to write a 1/2 page report. I almost died. Once, he even accidentally right-clicked on the word document and the shortcut tab came up. He freaked out and started asking the entire station, "HELP! How do I get rid of this?!!".

3. The next police station was even worse. I went to the main office first and waited for 20 minutes. They then sent me to department 1, where I waited for 10 minutes for the officer to finish his call. He then told me that missing vehicles wasn't his job and sent me to department 4. The department 4 officer was pissed when I said, "My motor went missing" and told me that it wasn't his department either and sent me to the department 14. It was the right department but the officer made me run up all the way back to the main office to photostat another copy of my report.

After I was done filling my report and making my statements, I got up and quickly rushed to the exit. I just wanted to get out of that place before I blew my top. Right before I turned the knobs, the police officer looked at his other friend and then asked me, "Hey, are you a Singaporean?". Serves me right for speaking more English than Malay. I looked at them and smiled, "Nah, I'm Malaysian."

It took me a total of 4 frustrating hours to file a missing vehicle report in this country. For one very short moment, I wish I could've gave the police officer a different answer.


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