Thursday, May 17, 2007

I Hate Adults

I always feel uneasy whenever I meet my elder relatives or friends of the parents. I don't know, I guess I'm still not that good with adults yet. Ironic, in a way because after years of analysing and studying them, I have come to fully understand their speech pattern (with youngsters). They are so predictable, it's like they were all handed a book entitled, "5 Easy Steps To Communicate With The Younger Generation" when they hit 30:

(1. Greet them with physical pain.)
Ben: Hello uncle.
Adult: BEN!! *hard smack*

(2. Acknowledge the fact that they are not midgets.)
Adult: You have grown taller!
Ben: You just met me a week ago.
Adult: I mean compared with your 5 year old self. YOU ARE SO TALLl!

(3. Please study the BMI table. They will appreciate it.)
Adult: *staring*
Ben: ... yes, uncle?
Adult: You are fat.

(4. Just facts, no details.)
Adult: Study?
Ben: A lot.
Adult: Play?
Ben: A few.
Adult: Friends?
Ben: Some.
Adult: Girlfriend?
Ben: None.
Adult: It's like I've known you forever.

(5. Ok that's enough. End the conversation.)
Ben: So uncle..
Adult: Look! Teletubbies!! Go and watch while I talk to your father, ok?

I'm not good with adults? Sometimes I think it's the other way round.


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