Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Anytime Now

I will be a man about this. You can do it Ben, just take a deep breath *inhales*, now.. (looks down) woah, I have man-breasts! It's been a while since I've done any real exercise, I swear I'll start jogging again tomorrow. Jogging is boring, maybe I should visit the nearby basketball court. It is after all a more exciting sport and plus I get to make new friends. It would be a huge boost for my non-existent social life. I hope it rains tomorrow so I won't have to do anything.

I'm feeling dizzy. Oh right. *exhales* Why is this taking me so long?! I have been staring at the mirror for almost 10 minutes and I still haven't moved an inch. Ben! Pick that bag of salt up. There we go ... Aaahh, it's as if I'm holding a bag of anthrax!

No, no, it's a bag of candy! A bag of delicious mouth watering candy that I am now scooping out with my finger and rubbing on my swollen tongue. *Rub, rub* (Pause) Silly Ben scaring yourself for no reason, it's really not so bad. Sure it's a little salty and..

HOLY SHIT, IT FEELS LIKE A THOUSAND TINY DAGGERS ARE PERPETUALLY STABBING MY TONGUE! NOW THE BLADES HAVE GOT IN DEEP AND THEY ARE TWISTING THEMSELVES! OOOHH, THE PAIN, THE AGONY!

Phew, glad that's all over with. Now I can go on with my pain-free life. Tra-la-la-la.

(Snaps out from dream)

Oh my god, apply the damn salt already!

7 comments:

-=[W]=-

It is as you've described it in your dream-like sequence. The relief following the pain is one well worth the brief agony.

Sue-Anne

hehehe..Man-breasts! Are you sure? On a skinny fella like you?! ><

Benjamin

wilson: *still staring at the bag of salt* huh? what?

sue-anne haha i can assure you i am anything but skinny. what gave you the idea that i'm skinny anyway?

Kim

R u sure ur tongue hurts a lot???
Coz u sure talk a lot yesterday!!!!
*staring at Ben from behind(hoping that my eyes(sharingan) can pierce his thick fat skin...)
Oi, i told there is a basketball court not far away!!!
Why r u still sitting there blogging!!!
Move ur fat ass to the basketball court!!!

gwen

new reader here.

you're half a woman now. you have "breasts" and you've experienced the pain similiar to period pain. only period pain is worse. haha

Pyin

ben with 'men' breast...ok i'm not gonna sleep well tonite....-_-'''

yeah ben.. APPLY THE DAMN SALT ALREADY!!!! >_<

then u can put d REAL experience as ur next entry.. keke

Benjamin

kim: i am not fat. i am heavy.

gwen: hello gwen! period? blood coming out of your body 5 days in a row.. no la, doesn't sound painful at all.

pyin: i don't think ppl wanna see 3 consecutive entries about my ulcer. I have a life u know! ... no i don't :(

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