Thursday, October 26, 2006

Women Are Like Corpses

I cannot stress enough how our mechanical engineering faculty is in serious need of some female undergraduates. How serious? Let's put it this way; Since day 1 that I got to UTM till now (a year and a half), I have never made one single friend from the opposite sex.

Stop laughing. This also holds true for most of my coursemates. I SAID STOP LAUGHING! There are practically no female undergrads in our faculty, sure there's a few but they would usually always be attached and hence become off limits. There's no denying that we are way past desperate right now.

Our course was thinking of throwing a party this weekend, just for funsies. I told my friend June (a female friend I ALREADY had back when I was in Tawau) about it and she was rather eager to come. That's when I had to give her a short pep talk:

Ben: No, you can't come.
June: Why not?
Ben: Because you're a girl.
June: So you guys are having some sort of all-guy orgy there, big deal. I'll watch. quietly.
Ben: It's not that. See to us, women are like corpses.
June: ... corpses?
Ben: And we're the vultures.
June: Oh..
Ben: When my faculty mates see you, the only girl in the party, they will make A LOT of advances. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable.
June: I don't mind, no guy has ever approached me since I got here anyway. I wonder why.
Ben: [Ben, choose your words carefully] Well, maybe it's because you're not a corpse yet.
June: What?
Ben: You're still living and breathing.
June: Did you just say that I'm not a woman?!
Ben: No, you're just one of those healthier-looking corpses.
June: Now I'm ugly?!
Ben: I.. er..

(Picture Ben struggling to stay afloat in the middle of the sea while screaming, "Help! Help!")

Ben: You're living, breathing and healthy-looking! How can you not take that as a compliment?!

That'll teach me never to use the vulture-corpse comparison ever again.

17 comments:

sabrina

"healthier looking corpses" ???
Dude you're lucky she didn't interpret that as calling her fat!! You'd be the corpse then!
Great blog by the way :)

mrbherng

Dude, that's engineering in nearly everywhere haha.. anyway, my course have more XX over XY and over the summer the only friends that I made were all XX =P Lucky me hahaha

-=[W]=-

^ Medical or bio student by any chance? :P

Hahaha, I really love your blunt approach. More "self-conscious" men would've been scoping out all the angles and rehearsing the scenraio over and over again in their heads. Still, I have a better appreciation for things made on the fly. Rehearsing and making a blunder of it would be like watching a car-crash unfold whereas stuff off the cuff (sh!t, that rhymes!) has the potential to be pure comedic gold.

It's just like that painter dude said, "I don't believe in mistakes, only happy accidents".

qiwei

Gosh! How can you still be so picky when there's desperately none in your faculty?

mrbherng

-=[W]=-, related but not exactly...

Benjamin

sabrina: lucky she didn't interpret that as calling her ugly AND fat. What coffin? I'd be lucky if I got an urn. Thanks sabrina :D

mrbherng: u lucky lucky man. -sobs-

wilson: actually i was blunt because she's a long time friend. if she's a stranger, it's a whole different story.

qiwei: ok, how am i picky?

bukanmatrempit

lol...funniest post I've read the whole day

nylusmilk

my faculty is almost as bad as yours. in my batch alone boys make up 10% of the class, which is really bad, seeing as those boys have no romantic attractive qualities whatsoever. think of it this way: less girls, less drama.

qiwei

Well, your conversation with June kind of hinted that 'healthier-looking corpses' are the uninvited guests in your party. So, I think it's kinda picky. Maybe I just intepreted the conversation wrongly.

Alex

fuiyo... tat's wat my engineering fren told me. he said 'if u want hot chix, go to the business/management faculty' :) my commerce faculty has a few hot chix too. heh

CY

You made a right decision not to allow June to join the orgy... I mean party.

"I'll watch. quietly."

Hey... June sounds like a nice girl *hint hint

Benjamin

bukanmatrempit: thanks man. and yours is the funniest nickname i've heard all day too.

nylusmilk: "boys make up 10% of the class, which is really bad" - YOU TAKE THAT BACK! YOU FRIGGIN' TAKE THAT BACK!

qiwei: it's not picky la. just dun wan her to feel uncomfortable only.

alex: thanks for the write up man :D

cy: Hell no!

nylusmilk

< quote >"boys make up 10% of the class, which is really bad" - YOU TAKE THAT BACK! YOU FRIGGIN' TAKE THAT BACK!< /quote >

lol. no i won't.

err, do you think i'm a guy? hence that rather drama response? =P

Benjamin

nylusmilk: oooooooooh you're a chick! that explains the "seeing as those boys have no romantic attractive qualities whatsoever" remark. Which brings me to my next question, what's a nylus milk? I googled it but nothing came up.

nylusmilk

first, it's not supposed to be separated. second, it's a coined nickname, that's why you can't find anything in google, though you did manage to find my blog! made my heart stop for a bit, thinking my anonymous blog has been discovered by people who know me! -_-

Benjamin

nylusmilk: Er.. are you puak ros?

nylusmilk

errr.... no! what the hell is that?

anyway i've put my url now just to save you from your torturous search.

see, i'm nice. lol

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